Transcript Ep 4 How I Lost My Mojo and What I'm Doing About it Now

[00:00:00] But I'm kind of missing that, joie de vivre of my own creative energy of my own muse and mojo. And I, what the hell happened to it is what I wanna know. And I have some theories and I wanted to go through with you some of the things that have stopped me from using my own creative voice over the years.

[00:00:32] You're listening to Unfold with Kellee Wynne. This is an unpolished, imperfect, and totally honest podcast, and I'm talking to all the artists, creatives, visionaries, and change makers who wanna live a life by design and not by default. If you're ready, Thought-provoking, eye-opening and heart-centered conversations that explore the stories that made us who we are and break through the boundaries of expectations, then you are in the right place.

[00:01:05] Well, hello. Hello, and welcome back to Unfold with Kellee. Look, we're at it another week and you're still sticking with me. Thank you so much. So far, the feedback's been pretty good, and I appreciate each and every one of you for sharing the podcast and getting the word out there, putting it on your Instagram feed and sending the messages to your friends to say, Hey, come check this out.

[00:01:28] This is just the kick in the pants you need. Right . At least that's what I heard. I heard from a lot of you that this was, this has been a really fun journey for you so far, and I really appreciate that. That keeps me encouraged and motivated to keep showing up doing something that's a bit challenging, to tell you the truth.

[00:01:46] But here we are perfectly imperfect and perfectly perfect. However it is, the most important purpose of this though, is to keep getting you to think about this. I want you to live a life by design and not by default. So every time I show up here, there's a purpose. It's to kinda push you out of your comfort zone and get you thinking again and talk about things that maybe we don't talk about often enough as artists, as creatives.

[00:02:18] People who dream big dreams, but yet here we are, and I know you're listening because you're feeling it too. You want something more. You want a bigger life. You wanna take action towards the things that are important to you. And that's what I'm really hoping that we can keep journeying through with this podcast.

[00:02:38] So today, I really just wanna be able to keep it real and honest with you. I told you I'd be showing up as. , you know, all of me. And showing you the good, bad, and the ugly. And today I'm gonna review with you some discussions I've had on Instagram and with my friends and with my coach, and. With anyone who will, pretty much anyone who will listen, and that's why I am so creatively stuck.

[00:03:05] Of course, I had to do a little bit of deep dive into myself and my psyche to be able to come to you with this podcast today. And in all honesty, I'm spending the entire month of February showing up with a live video diary in my stories, talking about. Really what I'm thinking and what I'm going through every day, and I'm making art.

[00:03:26] I am showing up and making art regularly. , but I'll be honest, I have to force myself because for having been an artist my whole life, there's really not a big creative desire for me to get into the studio and make more art unless I'm doing it because I need to show up for you, which I love doing. That to me turns me on and makes me excited, but I'm kind of missing that.

[00:03:52] of my own creative energy, of my own muse and mojo, and I, what the hell happened to it is what I wanna know. And I have some theories, and I wanted to go through with you some of the things that have stopped me from using my own creative voice over the years. . I know that I've been able to show up and it seems like I'm like so authentically me, but I've stumbled through these pitfalls myself.

[00:04:20] I've been through the trenches and I've come out the other side realizing there's a lot of mistakes I've made. And in hindsight, they've been great lessons. So I wanna review some of that with you, and I'm gonna start with, um, The first years that I was back in the studio making art, sharing art, selling art.

[00:04:41] And um, this is the period of time before I started teaching. So approximately 2012 to 2018. So about a good, long six years of, um, gallery work and whatnot. And I wanted to give you a few ideas as you might be contemplating. Going into business for yourself to sell work, to, um, to work in galleries and to take big opportunities.

[00:05:11] And that's fabulous. I want you to dream big and go for it. But here's a few things that you might be up against and I wanna like, I want you to give yourself a little checklist and say, remember Kelly said, beware of these pitfalls. So are you ready? Here's a few things that I found were stopping me from finding my voice and really coming into that full creative power.

[00:05:37] That an artist should be able to get to. I think that one of my biggest challenges was right from the get-go. I knew that my purpose was to make a career out of art, which that part wasn't the problem. But the problem was that I started making art specifically for the career and not finding my voice first, and knowing my own passions and my own loves, and, and having a clarity of voice.

[00:06:03] I didn't spend enough time with the work. . And um, and what happened was is every time there was an opportunity to exhibit my work or to do a commission, uh, I was making work that fit in a and was in alignment with what the call to action was. So there's a show and it's all about Maryland landscapes. So I paint Maryland landscapes. There was a show and it was the city. Then I'm painting the city, whatever it was, you know, starry night, doesn't matter. Creating work on demand to fit the theme rather than to explore deeper my own voice. And what happens is, is that you don't spend long enough really. In a subject to know it well enough to understand the nuances of how you're creating for it.

[00:06:53] And so I can look back at that work and find that it wasn't as refined as I thought it was. It wasn't quite as finished or polished or expressed. Now, I'm not saying don't show your work if you're not perfect. Please just show your work. Do your work, but take your time to keep exploring your work when you jump from thing to thing when you're answering somebody else's idea and design.

[00:07:16] you're not really taking a chance to explore your own voice, and that's a problem. Here's another challenge that I found working in Maryland near the Chesapeake Bay. There's a very strong theme of ocean, of crabs and oysters, sailboats, herons, and, and seascapes, and. , and that's what work sells the best in my area.

[00:07:42] And I've heard other artists say the same thing. Well, in my area it's all, you know, trains and rivers or whatever, you know, whatever the theme is, whatever the most popular subject matter is for your area, are you gravitating towards just painting that so that you have more art to sell to the customer bases there?

[00:08:02] Is it not? what you really wanna make. Is it just what you're making? Because you know it's what's popular and I have to call you on that and tell you. I did that. I started making the seascapes. It was specifically so that I could fit into the niche market that was here. Now, I learned a lot from it. I probably made several hundred of those mini seascapes, but in the process I.

[00:08:27] Let go of exploring the things that I was really, truly interested in exploring at the time. And then I kind of got stuck in a loop. I can tell you that in conversations with my father, who is a painter, has exhibited in in galleries and taught, and I learned a lot. And took a lot of advice from him. He found himself in that same situation where he started painting a series of trees and it was just years and years of expectation of painting the same thing in order to fit into a niche that was in high demand.

[00:08:59] And so this is a challenge that many artists can find themselves where they're painting to the demand rather than, um, their own interest and exploration and curiosity. . And so I wanted to just kinda like bring this up to you, analyze, are you making work that you love to make and it happens to fit into the theme of the next show or the area that you live in, or are you.

[00:09:24] searching for what's most popular right now in order to make the sale, because if so, you're missing an opportunity to really tap into your own creative power. You're foregoing the muses in order to make the money, and I can severely hinder your creative ability. I know it did for me and in the long run.

[00:09:47] I look back at that time and wish that I'd stuck with things longer, and this is another really important bit of advice. Now, I'm not saying stick with whatever you're stuck with and just keep doing it even if you don't love it. I'm saying when you stumble upon that thing that lights you up, that makes you feel tingly, that kind of makes you wanna like almost jump out of your skin and you're like, Have you ever had that moment?

[00:10:17] Those are to me like the rare, juicy moments of creating where you like really feel like you've tapped into the electricity of creation. And when that happens in your curiosities peak, your mind is going wild and you know you're going to sleep with new ideas on this theme and this subject in ways in which you can manipulate the work and what would happen next.

[00:10:38] And you're really excited about. and then you put it away because you've got a commission or there's a show that you wanna submit to, and the work is supposed to be different. Now, in a true creative fashion, your ideas will never really truly disappear, but if you were really being kind and generous to yourself, you would spend more time with a thing that lights you up.

[00:11:00] And there were a few times I can look to. Past creations and even recently where I've done something that I've loved so much and yet I needed to move on to the next project. I can think of a time specifically before I started teaching online that I had an opportunity to display with. A bunch of interior designers in this beautiful show home, and they came to me and asked me to make something that was completely out of my norm, not what I would normally make.

[00:11:29] And so there was my first frustration. It was like, oh no, now I'm conforming again. However, what was interesting is when it happened, I actually had some really great breakthroughs and that's when my abstract Arches series came through. It was the first time I was working in neutrals. I was using a lot of graphite and loose mark making and gold leaf, and there was just something really cool and magical that had happened, and then boom, just like that, I stopped.

[00:11:57] I like put it on hold because I needed to paint more flowers or seascapes or something, and I left it on the shelf. I came back to it again about two years after that and explored it for only maybe two months for an art course that I created called Timeless Art. It's a beautiful course and it explored a little bit more deeply some of these ideas, but.

[00:12:21] I had really trusted myself. If I had really stuck with where the muses were calling me, I would've spent several years studying what the possibilities were because I can still recall this juicy image in my mind of every kind of arch and doorway and architectural detail of Morocco or India. I could see an arch no matter where I went.

[00:12:46] I was traveling in Baltimore. It didn't matter. I could see the arches, I could see the architecture. I could see how the rough edges of old peeling paint added to those layers, and it was fascinating to me, and I shelved it for popularity. . I know it's crazy, but we all do it. We all put those things to the side for the thing that's gonna be more lucrative.

[00:13:10] That's in demand right now. The new shiny object, the new opportunity. But sometimes there are things that are calling to us that we really need to stick with longer. This is how you're gonna find your voices, is how you're gonna keep true to yourself. This is how you're gonna not burn out. Because when you jump from thing to.

[00:13:29] You're never like fully realizing the entire potential of what you've created anyhow. So I would say that that's a really big key factor when I look back over the history of my art career so far, is not spending time long enough with the things that I actually love to make and do. And that came up again once I started teaching online because now, , I'm teaching to the course, to the lesson for the student.

[00:14:01] What do they need next? They've already seen me do a flower, so now I'll do a landscape. So now I'll do this project that I've never, ever done before, but for some reason I'm now creating this for my class, which , which it was such a growth opportunity for my, my entire like experience of teaching online and learning what students need and how to interact and how to.

[00:14:27] But it wasn't very good for my own creative development because I was always in production mode and not in creation mode. And I think that there's just something that happens after a while when you're responding so much to external sources. For what you wanna create and not responding enough to your internal sources.

[00:14:49] And this is a habit that has happened now over the last four years, and I am coming to this point where I'm trying to decide is this okay? Is it all right to just move forward and be lit up every time that I go live on camera to teach you something? Because I do. I light up. I like beam. Excited energy. I love being able to teach for you.

[00:15:13] I love being able to share what I'm doing, but now I'm not sure so sure that I have that same joy when I'm creating without the camera on. So there's this interesting dichotomy that's happened. This, you know, this. Take this push and a pull of what's happened to my creativity in this new phase that I'm in, and I'm just exploring it all.

[00:15:36] I'm not in a bad place. Some people have worried that like, oh, I hope you get your mojo back. Yeah, of course we all want our mojo back, but I'm not upset about it. I'm purely curious what led me here and why I'm here now. Another thing that you're probably doing that I wanted to, uh, touch on when it comes to whether or not you're using your creative voice or losing your creative voice or losing your mojo, in the same vein of playing to the local economy or to the gallery show, is spending enough time online that you're playing up to what you think is gonna be most popular because you see other artists doing it.

[00:16:18] You've seen, they've sold out a whole collection, which is honestly a little more rare than you. Would imagine. It doesn't happen to all artists, it happens to a few artists, but with time and practice, we build up to having great art sales, but not if we're out there copying what we think is popular. It's really hard to show up and believe in your work if what your work is, is, sorry to say this, but a rip off of somebody else's.

[00:16:47] Look, we all have to start somewhere. We need to practice. We need to find our voice through copying. This has even happened in Old World Master Style. You know, you go to the School of Rembrandt, you copy Rembrandt until you become your own creative. Artists that's well known, . But here in our modern day, we're copying what we see on Pinterest.

[00:17:08] We copy what we see on in Instagram, and in that copying, hopefully what you do is eventually you put away the phone, eventually you stop looking at. The most cool kids on the block and you start tapping into yourself and not just what's popular, what you think, and perceive as popular, because I'm gonna tell you right now, it's all popular.

[00:17:29] It's all good art, it's all has potential to be sold. Even the crap art has potential to be sold if you believe in what you're doing and you can show up and be proud of. , but it's really hard to do that if it's not your voice that's coming through. It fits a copy of somebody else's style that, that you're modeling after.

[00:17:47] So after you've modeled for a little bit, you've taken the classes or you've looked online and you've looked to see how it was done and, and try to come up with your own method to recreate that, then keep evolving, push it to the next level. Start finding out how you like to make your work, push it beyond that.

[00:18:04] I know I spent plenty of time. Searching on Pinterest, looking on Instagram, wishing I could paint like someone else, and trying to paint like someone else, and finding that it just didn't work. That's not how my hand moves. That's not how my mind works. That's not how my heart connects with my artwork. And hopefully you're gonna discover that too, that you have your own muses.

[00:18:26] So once you're done investigating all those ideas, if you really wanna be able to tap in and keep your creative juices flowing, you're gonna have to put the freaking phone away. And start thinking for yourself and creating for yourself, because without that, how are you gonna sustain a long-term career?

[00:18:44] How are you gonna be able to stand up in front of everybody, whether it's in real life or virtually, and say, look at what I created from my heart and my soul that I'm so passionate about. . That's where you have to get, if you're gonna build a, a life and a career off of your creative voice, you have to believe in it a hundred percent.

[00:19:04] And in order to believe in it a hundred percent, it can't be somebody else's idea. So these are some things that have probably held me back along the way. Um, always looking out for the source of inspiration rather than looking in. And I wouldn't say always, I'm sure there were plenty of times where I was tapping in.

[00:19:23] Fear bubbles up, doubt bubbles up. Uh, and you just get really stuck in your own head and you push all of that aside, and then you turn to the outside source again, because you're not trusting yourself to make the art that you're meant to make. I'm living proof of that. That happens. Me who teaches other people still has great doubt about what I'm making, if it's good enough or.

[00:19:46] um, if I'm on the right path, or would people be happier if I made something else or taught something else or showed something else? Did that last Instagram post get the most likes? So maybe I'll just make more of that instead of the fact that I really wanted to make this other thing that got zero likes, but I was far more interested in it.

[00:20:04] Again, feeding from outside sources rather than your own internal. Muses is really going to hinder you in the long run of being able to make your best work, make work that commands attention. This is what we want, right? For whatever reason we wanna do it because it's self-fulfilling. It's exciting, it's, it helps us build a career, whether we're selling the art, getting licensing, teaching it, coaching it.

[00:20:31] How are you gonna do any of those things if you're not tapping into your own voice? So, In all honesty, I've been stuck in the shit for this for quite a while and I'm still here and I'm twiddling my thumbs thinking, is it gonna come back? What else? What else is piling on top of this that's holding me back from my finding my mojo Again?

[00:20:54] Here's a couple other things that I think that have been piling on top of it in the last couple of years. I had a. Burnout from business in 2020, and I ended up shutting my membership down and taking the entire year of 2021 to realign myself, finish off old projects and kinda rededicate myself to making art.

[00:21:15] However, I got so busy in the projects that I didn't make as much art as I should, so I started looking around. Reasons that were holding me back, and some of these might have been valid reasons, but I think I'm the only real reason that might have been holding me back. Well, we'll tell you that. Too many things to do.

[00:21:34] Too much stuff that I have, too many ideas in my head. Too much. and breaking it all down and getting down to what's essential, really started help breaking down those barriers. And what do I mean by that? Like really specifically? I had a lot of old art from all of these different experiments that I just told you about, the different shows that I did.

[00:21:58] And some would sell, but most wouldn't. And here I had an entire storage unit of old. , I'm not kidding you. I was paying monthly to hold old work and some canvases, I'll be honest. And of course by the fall I finally was like, okay, the storage unit needs to go because I'm paying more for that than the work is now worth and I don't even, you know, have attachment to this work.

[00:22:22] I'm moving on from it. It's burdening me down because then the psychological little fear factor creeps in. And I wonder if you've ever thought this too. , why should I make more work when the old work hasn't even sold? I don't even have room for the old work. It's just piling up around me. Who's gonna want this anyway?

[00:22:40] They didn't want that. Why would they want what I'm making now? And that's you stopping you from being successful when you let those ideas come into your head. . It really is, and it was stopping me as well. So I had made a decision by the end of 2021, it was either going to be all sold or it was going to be burnt, destroyed, cut, or, or torn up.

[00:23:03] Period. It was one or the other. I didn't really want the work to go out into the world if it wasn't loved or wanted, and it was a freedom and a release to let some of it go. Now, I wanna say thank you to those of you who snatched up a bunch of pieces there. I think it was September or October that I had a big sale in my stories, and I got rid of some of the best pieces that were still hanging around and the rest that I didn't love.

[00:23:30] It got put to the burn shred pile. . But that release of knowing that I didn't have to be attached to the old work anymore started allowing me to become more creative again. And after that, that's when my Lush landscapes course came out. And I see a whole new shift happening in that work that I'm really excited about.

[00:23:53] And I would say that that's probably the tipping point when some of my. Good mojo was starting to sink back into my life now, not on a regular basis and not like it had been in the past, but I can see the light shining through at the end of the tunnel. Blush, landscapes pushed me through once I got rid of all of the old work that was holding me back.

[00:24:16] I wanna tell you another thing that was holding me back of stuff of too much, and that was too many supplies. Too much stuff in my studio. I'm still looking around and thinking I could probably get rid of more. I ended up shipping off 12 boxes of mostly brand new art supplies to Make and Mend, which is this adorable shop up in the Northeast that takes donations of gently used supplies and resells them, which is so environmentally amazing and also made me feel so good that.

[00:24:52] Really great supplies weren't gonna go to waste. I still had old scrapbooking supplies. I had stuff that had been given to me that I didn't want anymore. I had stuff that I had bought brand new and thought for sure, no doubt I'm going to use this. It's so exciting, this new product. I know you've done that too.

[00:25:11] And then what happens? You have too many choices to make and you kind of get stuck when you get in the studio and you feel a little bit of guilt cuz you didn't actually use the thing that you bought. And ah, too many choices. leads to decision fatigue, and sometimes the best thing you can do is just narrow it down to the things that you love the most.

[00:25:29] So I sat with my supplies and I thought about the times that I've created, that I've loved the most, and which supplies that I was using at the time, and I got rid of everything else. I kid you not 12 box. Of brand new supplies. That was a while ago, so it's probably all sold. But check out, make and Mend because they're a really cool company.

[00:25:51] You can buy this stuff online. And I ended up working with them as a sponsor for my, um, scholarship fund that I do for Virtual Arts Summit. So, hey, another fun connection along the way. Anyhow, I knew that what I loved was working. Paper and boarding canvas, and I love acrylic paints and I love graphite and charcoal and oil pastels, but all those little fun crafty things and glitter and do dads, I really needed to stop and think, is this.

[00:26:27] The direction I'm going is this what lights me up? I had to Marie Condo, my studio. I really did. Um, that's the minimalist idea of holding it up and saying, do I love it? Do I need it? If not, we release it. And I did that to my studio and oh my goodness, it's so much easier because I've made a decision when I come in my studio, I know which supplies I love to use and nothing else has to get in the way of getting right to work.

[00:26:53] So if you are having problem. Being stuck could be that you need to do a nice, good purge of what you have, a purge of your supplies, a purge of your old artwork, and even a purge of some of your ideas that you're holding onto that. Yes, one day I'm gonna do this cross stitch. And yes, one day I swear I'm going to paint this thing and I've halfway painted it, but that was five years ago and now it's still sitting here and I've moved.

[00:27:24] And so sometimes it's time to get down to what's essential in your creative practice and let the rest go. So as I've been doing that and I've been. Of course, I fall back on old habits and have to come back again. What is it that's most important to me? What do I love to create the most? What lights me up the most?

[00:27:42] I'm gonna go to that first. So right now, for example, the things that I love the most are all the layers of collage. I love the layers of paint and that when there's layers that you can see through and see the transparency. I love the mark making. I love warm colors and I love the action of florals. So I'm, I'm just diving into what's inspiring me right now and not worrying about all the other ideas I have so that they don't conflict.

[00:28:12] Getting in the studio and making some work, and I would say probably the number, I'm gonna say, this is the number one reason why I find myself still so challenged. with finding my mojo. Now, like I said, I've been getting in the studio a little bit more, but it's not like it's this deep craving like it I used to have.

[00:28:32] But I am starting to seek glimmers of that where I'll wake up on a Saturday morning and go, I get to paint today, which I haven't felt in like two whole years. But I think that one of the biggest reasons why is because I'm using all my creative energy for my business. And that in and of itself is quite an endeavor.

[00:28:50] And sometimes our, our bandwidth of our brain cells just can only hold so much. And I'm giving it my all in building the business, in sharing with you and creating the, the content that I think needs to be out there in this world. Uh, creating the podcast, that's a huge creative endeavor and it really fulfills that creative need a lot of the time.

[00:29:14] And. I'm okay with that. I had to have a long heart to heart talk with myself and say, if this is it, if you're creating for work and you're not spending the hours in the studio creating your next MA masterpiece, are you okay with that? And I had to get to the point where I can validate that my feeling.

[00:29:40] Are fine. And I don't have to change. I don't have to be anything else than what I am.

[00:29:53] And so that's what moves us into this next part of the podcast that I wanna talk about. When you're stuck, what should you do? So I gave you a bunch of the pitfalls. Of how you might be getting yourself stuck, how you might be preventing yourself from finding your voice, how you might be sabotaging yourself from your own success.

[00:30:13] Stop looking outward, start looking inward. Turn off your fucking phone and get to work in the studio and make work consistently enough in your own voice, in your own heart and your own energy, and you'll probably get some. . Otherwise, if you tap out and you start looking outward, you're gonna have a real hard time being able to tune into your muses.

[00:30:37] There's just no doubt about it. I'm speaking from experience, but how do we solve that now that we're here in this position, looking at a couple of years of having very little creative spark. . I mean, it comes and it goes, and it comes and it goes. And this last month has been a little bit better because I've been making a concerted effort to show up for myself.

[00:31:03] And I've been showing up for you as well with these video diary, whatever it is, on stories daily that I'm talking about this process. And I'm being really open and transparent about it because I've glossed over it for a couple of years saying, I know I'm gonna get into the studio soon, but I just don't feel it.

[00:31:21] Sorry folks, you know? And then showing up for a live and having no problem painting for a live video, and then not painting again for another month. But here I am. Talking about it more openly, because I hope that it's really gonna kind of sink in with you. But the most important part about this whole conversation is how we handle it from here on out.

[00:31:42] Because if you're giving yourself a hard time and you're feeling guilty when you get stuck, guess what? You are just gonna get more stuck, and it's not healthy, it's not helpful. And I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm not upset. I'm not upset that I lost my mojo. There's the honest truth. It happened and I think about it, and those are just thoughts and I can give myself grace and space and time to figure it out.

[00:32:15] I don't have to feel differently about myself or berate myself because I'm not making art the way that society says. Some great painter is supposed to make art. That's too much pressure. I continue to be inspired by others without envy or jealousy. This is another philosophy that I'm sparking on right now, is that I might be in a position where I'm not painting a whole lot.

[00:32:42] but I can look lovingly at everything that you are creating and cheer you on without having to feel bad that I'm not doing it as well. And that's a real peaceful place to be in. It's a lot more loving and kind to to yourself than being upset that they're doing it, but you're not. That's not gonna be helpful to get you to the next place.

[00:33:03] But maybe by being excited for your friends that you have online or in person who are making artwork, it might spark your excitement too. So another thing that helps a lot is to find a support system, a community, and other artists to talk to because as much as we wanna be able to turn to our. Partner, our husbands or wives or best friends.

[00:33:29] If they're not artists, it's gonna be really hard for them to really understand. Well, I don't know, just get in there and do it. But sometimes the, the wall is so big and it's so hard to get over and it's just nice to be able to spend time with other artists. Who know and understand that. So if you're saying, ah, what, where do I find those people?

[00:33:48] Because I don't really have any friends that are artists will look around you. I've made some of my very best friends, art friends right there on Instagram. I've also joined communities where artists hang out, uh, locally and in person. Find someone to talk to that gets it, because I'm going to promise you this, every single artist that you know has gone through the same thing.

[00:34:11] So if you wanna get over the. You need to find a buddy. We're gonna do this as teamwork. Okay? You guys , and I would love to just invite you in and say, I have some great membership where we're all gonna be buddies together, but I don't, I don't. I just have Instagram and I have this podcast, and if you want a little.

[00:34:30] Elbow bump because we're not doing hand touching or hugging right now, still hopefully soon. Hopefully soon. But if you want a little elbow bump, just come and say hi to me on Instagram and, and let me know that you need a little pep talk, that you've lost your mojo too. And we're gonna find it together, and we're not gonna worry about how fast it takes to get back to where.

[00:34:52] We were once upon a time, we're gonna allow ourselves to be in the flow. I'm gonna say that also another thing that's really essential when you're stuck in this place is to just embrace the growth and satisfaction that you've had. In, in all of the experience that you've had up until this point, for me, I'm looking at the fact that I've been able to serve others and that just brings me incredible joy for you.

[00:35:19] Where are you looking else that you have really made huge leaps and bounds when you can look back and admire, or even look right now at this moment in time and see what all that you've been able to do, how far you've come from where you began. That kind of self-love nurtures you and creates a place that's safe for your thoughts, for your nervous system, for your creativity, for your muse, for that mojo to come back to you because you've said I'm okay.

[00:35:49] I'm here. I'm grateful for all that I have. It might seem a bit Pollyanna to you that I'm just sitting here be happy, but you know what? It is the real truth. This is how I've gotten to the point where it doesn't bother me if I'm not. actively seeking out my studio at the moment because I can recognize that they are just thoughts and the thoughts aren't going to make me or break me.

[00:36:14] I am here in this place and I'm going with the flow, and if I can put that thought in your head too, that it's okay to go with the flow when you get stuck, and that if you give yourself a little grace and kindness, you might get unstuck a lot faster, and I'm gonna tell you if all else fails. , you need to get in your studio and go make some garbage art.

[00:36:35] I think I said this last episode as well. Just go make some freaking garbage art people scribble , scribble it out. Journal your thoughts out. Do a di daily diary. Think about what it is that's blocking you, and when you go through that process of actually sitting with it, analyzing it, thinking about it, loving it.

[00:37:01] Loving yourself for it, letting it all out. You're gonna be far more comfortable to come in here without the pressure to create something perfect. So what are we gonna do people, if we've lost our mojo? I've lost my mojo. I'm slowly finding it, pulling it out one little bit at a time. I'm getting somewhere with it.

[00:37:23] I'm seeing some progress, but I'll be honest. At the end of it, if I discover the end of this practice period of deliberately going in and making art, even when I don't feel it, even when I don't have my mojo, even when it feels like a mountain to climb, I am coming in. At least five days of the week and at least five hours of the week to really see what it is that drew me to the art in the first place.

[00:37:56] And in the end, if I decide if I can recognize that the, the thing that's driving me right now is to keep creating for you, for the courses and for the lies, and to teach you and to share with you and to serve. I'm okay with if that's what the vehicle of my art has done for me and it's done for you. I'm all right.

[00:38:21] I don't need to be shown in the MoMA. I'm okay with just being here with you. I've never really had big fanciful dreams about where my art would go. I just want my art to connect with others and if this is my path, this is my path and I'm okay with that. And I hope that through your exploration, if you ever get stuck first, re-listen to this podcast and think, have I been doing these things?

[00:38:44] Have I been looking external for my source? Or am I trusting myself? Am I allowing too much stuff to get in the way? Do I need to get rid of things? So once you've gone through this process and you've spent some time really thinking hard and true thoughts about where you are and learning to love yourself through the process anyway, if any end, whatever you discover about what your art means to you and what your purpose is, it's valid.

[00:39:16] That's it. I just want you to remember that not every one of us has the same path or purpose with our art making. What's important is that it's meaningful to you. What's important is us as creative souls, we tend to be deeply connected in a different way, and the most important thing we can do to nurture our creativity is to respect it.

[00:39:45] All right. My friends, my friends, I hope that I touched on a few important things for you today because I'm bearing it all. Tune in next week because we're gonna have our very first guest and it's Ardith Goodwin, and she's gonna dive into how she found her creative voice, and it's going to amaze you and inspire you more than I ever could coach you on how to find your voice. She is the queen of it, and you're gonna love it. And we're gonna keep going with this discussion for the next few weeks because I really want it to sink into your head that if you are on this path and you intend to make it one of the most important aspects, and accomplishments.

[00:40:31] Then I want you to do it with all of your heart and soul, all of your being, and be able to dive in there and make art that lights your heart on fire. Got ? . That's where we're going with this. There's no other way. All right. I'll see you again next week on the podcast. Please share this episode if you loved it, even if you liked it a little bit.

[00:40:55] Please just hit that reshare on Instagram. Come to Kellee Wynne studios, and let everybody know that you've been listening to unfold and what you thought of it and how it's making a difference to you. And you know, Subscribe and I'll see you again next week. Thank you.

If you'd like to listen to or learn more about the podcast visit  https://www.maderemarkable.com/blog for our show notes and links to the main players.