Letting Go of Expectations
[00:00:00] Good morning. Good morning from the Himalayas. I am here at the foothills of Annapurna. It's unbelievable. It's gorgeous here. I'm in a monastery and I am learning about Buddhism, meditation, yoga, the people, the culture. Uh, yesterday we visited a Tibetan camp where people, you know, refugees who've come from Tibet after China took over, and they're just so humble and happy and gorgeous and full of life, even though they have so.
[00:00:38] And we have so much. I think that was probably the biggest change coming here to see how different life is across the world. Anyhow, you're listening to the in between series where Unfold ended and the next phase will begin in January. And I am Kellee Wynne Conrad coming to you from Nepal and I am on an adventure of a lifetime looking to have far more awareness about myself and life than I started with on this journey. And I think that that is phase one of Enlightenment maybe, is just being aware. Being aware of our faults, being aware of our biases, being aware of how fortunate we.
[00:01:31] I'm gonna tell you my biggest struggle was not with Nepal. It was not with the people. It was not with the crazy chaos and the different schedules and different ways of being. That part felt natural to me. That part was easy to embrace, but guess what part was really challenging for me?
[00:01:52] It was meeting up with a group of strangers from America and learning to adapt to each other's flow and expectations and judgements and Wow. Was that a real test? I think that's probably what I needed more than I thought. Um, because I arrived here and I was like, Oh crap, I'm being thrown in with, uh, 15 other people that I don't know. You know, the first day, my expectation was that we would have all these different kinds of enlightened on a journey for soul, and my judgment was that they were partiers and they were. You know, escaping their life through a accidental journey that they took in Nepal. I don't know what my first preconceived judgements were, but they weren't kind. I'll admit that. And my first reaction was to rebook some rooms at the Hyatt and, escape from this and, uh, even my friend who was traveling with me had the same reaction.
[00:03:00] Like, Oh no, we're gonna be herded around like cattle being told where to go and what to do. And that first day in Kathmandu while we were going to site Sea, what the whole group was, a lot like, maybe herding cats. And it was a little annoying to be told when to go and move on to the next site and how quick you needed to eat your breakfast and lunch and meet back again. And I haven't done that since I was like, in the army way back in my early twenties. And um, so I felt very uncomfortable. Um, a very independent person, you know?
[00:03:36] And I realized that I had to lean into it because this was the lesson I was coming for. Learning to love the people who are closest to me is a lot harder than the people who are far from me. Learning to love the people who are in my life, the people who I meet in America who are more like me, is more challenging than learning to love people who are far, far away. That I can maybe disassociate because they are not me, but I can love them for who they are and in their culture. But can I love the people of my own culture?
[00:04:13] Can I love the people who are like me? Can I do it without judgment and expectation? And this is one of the principles of Buddhism. You know, expectation leads to misery cuz when you expect something and it's not what you expected, , when you judge something and it's not what you were, were expecting it to be, you are disappointed.
[00:04:36] And yeah, my first inclination was to just go book a couple more rooms at the Hyatt and I realized this was, this was what I was supposed to come and learn how to. Be compassionate for the people closest to me. And in a matter of three days, my whole energy around it has shifted. Has shifted to enjoying their company and enjoying the environment and, and being guided by other people and, and taken on a journey that I wouldn't have been able to create for myself.
[00:05:12] So, I'm kind of bringing this message to you also in your life. I'm asking what do you expect to give to you or how things are supposed to be that's leaving you Disappointed. I can think of something right off the bat. How often do we come to Instagram expecting that there will be likes and comments and that it will work for us and it will transform our business because we've shown.
[00:05:38] But expecting that the algorithm cares anything about you, that the market cares anything about you, they don't care. It doesn't care. It's, it's a non sentient, uh, digital program. , it doesn't care about you. And so when we come to, This is just an example, when we come to Instagram expecting a result, because we've put in the effort and we're left disappointed, that's why we're so disenfranchised with a free program that you know is there to help us communicate.
[00:06:11] So what can you lean into? Leaning into the people who do show up for you. You were hoping for a hundred likes and you got 15. Love those 15 people you were hoping for reactions or comments to your most recent painting or com travels or lean into the one comment that you got, the one message that's in your inbox.
[00:06:32] Each of those people. That are there for you are real on the other side of that screen. What else do we have? Expectations? Do we wake up in the morning and we expect there to be sun and make it easy and our kids are gonna get off to school on time without any hassle. Those expectations will leave you disappointed.
[00:06:53] I know that I've um, left my heart open for whatever my children choose how to live their life, and that leaves it easy. I'm proud of them and excited for them, but I can't honestly say that my husband's felt the same way until I pointed out. He goes, There's just so much more potential. I was expecting so much more out of them, which mind you, they're already pretty amazing.
[00:07:14] But you know, that high expectation, I'm like, Dear love, here's principle one of Buddhism expectation is leading you to disappointment. Why not just love them for who they are and hope that they are happy and can take care of themselves? And so this shift is like really huge. For you as you're being, becoming the artist that you're meant to be, the entrepreneur that you're meant to be, what expectations do you have that it's gonna deliver for you instantly?
[00:07:45] That people are all gonna love what you're creating. That uh, your family's gonna support you because those expectations are gonna lead you to disappointment. So I am gonna recommend that you come back to center and realizing that we don't have control over anything at all except for our own. Hearts and souls, our emotions are just a manifestation of what's happening around us.
[00:08:11] So notice them and stop for a minute and then take hold of what is good. , even when there are things that you were expecting, uh, maybe you shift your mindset a little bit about, um, opening up to different possibilities, like I am now creating new friendships, learning more about myself and growth, learning to lean into.
[00:08:36] Uh, spaces that I didn't know that existed, um, and letting the judgment fall away. Why would I look and see macho man and mustache man and and party girl and all these characters that arrived to participate. Been a journey of a lifetime and I was so quick to judge that they didn't belong there and yet am.
[00:09:00] Who am I? Who am I to belong here? To show up and do my best to break out of my. Rituals and habits and comforts my amazing amount of comfort that I have at home that I can start my morning, how I wish with my cup of coffee and sitting with my dogs and wishing my kids goodbye on a beautiful day. And yet here I am up at 6:00 AM for a morning chant with the Buddhist, and then breakfast, and then to town, and then on.
[00:09:31] And we're about to start a trek. So every morning's gonna start with like sunrise. And this is out of my comfort zone. So this judgment of how it's supposed to be and where I'm supposed to be and who I'm supposed to be, it's time to let go of all of that. And, uh, we are not our physical beings and our thoughts and our desires, we are something much, much more than that.
[00:09:56] And each person that you look at is also so, so much more than that. And so when you can look at somebody with more love and compassion, Uh, there's a whole lot less friction in this world, isn't there? So I only have this short little message for you today because I am about ready to pack up my cell stuff and go on a.
[00:10:19] Six day trek through the Himalayas. Every step will be a meditation for me, thinking about how I can come home and love more and accept myself more and judge less and expect less, and suddenly I will see that life is exactly what I was wanting it to be. Yeah, don't forget to come find me on Instagram at Kellee Wynne. Uh, when I return from this journey, I will be sharing plenty of photos, but for now, I am not using my social media. It's a much needed break, and I would love it if you would follow, like, comment, uh, leave a, a review for this podcast. The more you share it, the more we grow and spread the message and maybe you know, somebody who needed to hear this to let go of expectations, and maybe it'll make their day a little brighter.
[00:11:16] So please share this message and know that I love you so very much, and cannot wait to talk to you again when I return from Nepal. Bye.
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