A Girl Has No Name

[00:00:00] Hey, it's me, Kellee Wynne, you know, from that podcast unfold with Kellee Wynne, that was supposed to have its last episode and transition into something. but as I keep unfolding, I realize I'm not quite there yet. I'm not quite ready to open up to this next thing that I have brewing inside of me, bubbling up. I'm really excited about this journey I've been on, but I feel like there's still some unfolding to do so.

[00:00:32] I thought what I would do for the next. I don't know, few weeks, couple of months is just to check in with you, just check in with like the weekend update. I know you're getting this on Monday. And so hopefully your Monday is going amazingly well, Monday is my favorite day of the week because it's like starting new, just like.

[00:00:56] January 1st or birthdays or anything else. Monday is like the new start of the week. And I always end up loving Mondays. So I figured that we would publish this little interlude on Mondays and I'd fill you in on whatever happened last week. And some of my goals for the week coming and everything that seems.

[00:01:19] To be happening in my weird and mysterious world, as like I said, as things unfold, I think things will always be unfolding. That's just the nature of it. That's the nature of life. And oftentimes we don't even realize we're in the unfolding as it happens. Um, but it's pretty obvious to me right now that that's, what's just like, I don't know how to explain it.

[00:01:46] I go on these hikes every weekend. I push my body a bit and, and it, I get into a amazing meditative state. It's a habit now that I've been building on and off for the last two years, I often go with my husband and my two dogs and , and I know by Sunday, if we didn't make it the whole week long, I'm like, okay, we have to go.

[00:02:10] I have some things I need to process. So it's become this regular ritual for me now to at least once a week, go on a pretty tough hike. And we're not talking about a little walk in the woods. We, we take paths that have a lot of steep inclines and ravines to get down to the river bed and let the dogs swim.

[00:02:30] And then back up again. And. Let's be honest, I'm training myself for the Annapurna track and Nepal, you know, the foothills of the Himalayas. And I'm so far from fit, even though that's one of my big goals, but I know that doing this regularly is really increasing my endurance, but more importantly, it's changing my brainwaves and giving me a place to really.

[00:02:57] I don't know, explore different depths of myself. Like I'm stuck with an idea. If I'm stuck with where to go next, there's something about the process of hiking that really makes a difference. Walking does this showers does this driving can do this, but nothing quite hits like a good, hard hike. Your body's moving.

[00:03:20] You're sweating. You. In touch with nature. I just love the experience. It's become really an important part of my life and my spiritual growth. And if you remember the last time I checked in with you in August, I felt like I was still really stuck that I hit a block and I didn't really know how to expand my spiritual journey.

[00:03:45] because there's a lot of fear and, and excuses. Let's be honest excuses that I throw up with myself. And so, uh, I don't know if few breakthroughs have happened recently and I'm starting to really open up to more possibilities and be more in touch and in tune with myself. And a lot of that has to do with the people that I surround myself and.

[00:04:10] The stories that I'm aware of, you know, it's, it's what your mindset is and what you're looking for in this world. And it's a really crazy, dark and dangerous place if you allow it to be. But I think I've just been trying to key into beautiful things that are happening. Um, And relationships that are growing and deepening and changes that I'm experiencing in myself and where I wanna take my business.

[00:04:37] It's like super exciting. And I wanted to share the journey with you over the next few weeks and months, especially as I track through Nepal and get more clarity on how I'm building the next iteration. So I wanna catch you up to speed just a little bit. Some of the aha moments from this week, from maybe the last two weeks, there's so much I could go into so many realizations over the last months and year.

[00:05:07] I think it's been one of the most transformative years. In my life in a really long time, but it has been a long process to get here. But the last couple of weeks, I had a few aha moments that I thought I'd share with you. So I launched a little mini free art course. I'd been promising it for a while.

[00:05:29] It's called the grid journal. Art course, it's, it's quite simple. I added a couple of new lessons to it, and then I edited some lessons that I had done online and put together about six lessons for free on, on my platform and, and my new brand new, old brand. I should say, color crush, every vibed it as the home for my art courses.

[00:05:58] But as I'm trying to launch and relaunch all of the courses that I have and put their nice, fresh face on it and spruce 'em up a bit and give them the nice luxury of a pretty new home. I also realized that I needed to get my ass to work to, uh, Make sure that the word was getting out there. So, you know, what better way with marketing, I've learned this offering something really good to my customer, giving to the community, and many people will come and enjoy it.

[00:06:30] In fact, I think I'm at like 4,000 4,500 signups in just a week and a half, which I find to be amazingly. I'm not expecting all these people to purchase a course from me later. I'm hoping that what happens is the joy transcends and more people find art and find the, the joy in their creation, the process.

[00:06:55] And maybe a few people will end up purchasing courses and that will continue to move the business along. So there's a give and a take. It works out. The marketing works fabulously well, but there's a point to what I'm telling you. And that's not about the marketing. It's about the own, my own personal aha.

[00:07:13] That I've. Gained from doing this once again, because there's almost like a massive multiple personality sitting here inside this being of mine one, which is the artist and the teacher, which I have been for many years now, at least a decade of D of pursuing this professionally and teaching for at least half of that.

[00:07:40] And coaching for parts of that as well. So it's been a really amazing journey and this has been my identity a lot, and I was working towards putting the art and the art courses. Towards color crush. So that there'd be room for another space for me to take things forward with teaching creative business and entrepreneurship and messaging and marketing and branding and all the things that I'm really passionate about.

[00:08:11] But what I found when I went and launched this mini course, is that it resonated so well with the audience that there was no separation of Kelly win studios and color crush that just was not gonna happen. It was so apparent to me that the people, the, the community that I've been fostering. Here for the art and the art making, which is great.

[00:08:40] I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with that. Except for that. We, as, as humans, as souls, as connected people throughout the entire planet, eventually get to a place where we want to evolve from where we're at. We wanna unfold more. We wanna go deeper. We wanna serve in different ways. We want to, I want to.

[00:09:05] Be more than just Kelly wins studios. I wanna be more than just an artist and a mom and. There's just this part of me that realizes I am a much deeper multidimensional being that there's so many other parts of me that I have not ever shared with you publicly with my. Even my closest friends at times, even with myself, that that for whatever reason, I'm refusing to even share with myself.

[00:09:40] But as I'm allowing myself to experience this, I have a greater detachment from Kelly win studios from color crush. I'm not saying that they're not gonna exist or continue to move forward. Well, what I am saying is, is I'm developing a team. Really wonderful, amazing people to help move Kelly one studios and color crush forward as the same.

[00:10:08] Amazing wonderful content that you've been experiencing for like the last eight years that I've been on social media on Instagram eight and a half years. I think that's how long I've been putting my time and my energy into building Kelly win studios as an artist, a brand as. As the person that you know, online and how, how that's become and who's following me and who's benefiting from that, I feel very grateful for, I feel amazed at what I can do to bring, you know, 56,000 people along with me.

[00:10:45] That's about where the number is of followers. But I noticed over the summer when I was not talking about art or art making or my art or anything, that was anything other than art and creation that my numbers fell flat and the engagement disappeared. And there were crickets. And I'm not saying that that's bad.

[00:11:12] I'm not saying that I need the validation for what I'm saying, because I'm okay with. Not having response and, um, I don't need the numbers necessarily or the likes, but what I do wish for is that the message is heard. And so if the people who are following me, this is a little pro tip on how social media works, by the way.

[00:11:36] If the people who are following me are not engaging with the things that I'm saying and my ratio of 56,000 people and only 50 people notice it or like it Instagram, isn't gonna push that out in the algorithm to my actual followers to see it. So for those who wanna hear that message, they're not gonna hear it because.

[00:11:58] The people who are following me, there are there for the art and, and that's a big, huge realization that I am not gonna be able to shift from Kelly when studios or color crush to anything else. At least with the platforms that I have right now. And I've been in a turmoil over who I am for a very long time.

[00:12:22] In fact, I could even say that 2020 was probably the catalyst that started pushing me into a different direction. And this last round of putting out a small mini offer, a free offer and having it received is so well told me I am no longer. Kelly win studios. I am proud of what I've built. I'm gonna continue to allow that to build.

[00:12:51] And that's a little facet of who I am a little bit of a, a shiny nugget over here on the side, having built this art brand. And art courses that I am absolutely thrilled. So many people have found. Thousands of people have found my art courses and have learned and be benefited thousands have paid for my art courses, not just taken the free courses.

[00:13:16] And so I know that there's some amazing magic that's happening within the world of Kellee Wynne studios. And Color Crush and seascape escapes and lush landscapes and color my life and the true colors, mixing lab and super bloom I could go on and on. There's something very special about what it is that I created there.

[00:13:41] But it's just one side of me. It's just one side of this prism and I'm ready to detach from it a bit and not hold on so tight and try to make it something that it's not. So I hope that that's making sense to you. What I'm realizing is. Well, I'm not just realizing I've known all along that I am something more than just my online identity.

[00:14:07] I'm something more than just Kellee Wynne studios. You know, I am Kellee Wynne, actually. I'm Kellee Wynne Conrad. I very much identify with the name that I took in marriage, but in an online space and in a personal space and in a spiritual space, I like to start moving towards.

[00:14:28] Maybe even as sometimes when I get into meditation or yoga, I think of that part in Game of Thrones. Um, I don't know how many of you have actually watched that was one was really one of my favorite except for that last season, but Aria was amazing. And when she went through her training, With the, with the faceless or whatever, the, the face changing people. I'm sorry if I'm ruining it for those of you, haven't watched it and haven't, and haven't gotten to it.

[00:15:00] But at this point, the decade later, or whatever, however long it's been, since it first launched, you would know by now, but she goes through her training and she. She's a girl with no name. It's a girl who has no name. And so sometimes I repeat that to myself, to take and shed away all the layers that society's put on me, my upbringing, the expectations, the disappointments, the frustrations, the pain, the trauma.

[00:15:38] Even the highlights and the amazing things that have happened. And I shed it away from being so tied up in my identity, being that thing, that experience, and come to a moment of presence to see who I am underneath. All of that. Am I, Kellee Wynne Studios. Am I Color Crush? Am I Kellee Wynne? Am I just a soul that communes with nature as she hikes her body up the hill.

[00:16:20] I don't know, but this is part of the journey that I'm going on. And what I can tell you is that I'm progressing towards wanting a little bit of. Independence from the labels that I've had and maybe a new way forward. So I'm not sure how that's gonna manifest it might mean, um, a new Instagram account. It might mean a change in what my plans were for the podcast.

[00:16:46] It's definitely leading me towards where I need to go to create the kind of offer that I think that the world needs right now. And to. Unfold into the person. Who's ready to do that and stop denying that responsibility. If that makes sense to you. It's not that I need to do this for ego, which is something I've always struggled with.

[00:17:15] Why am I doing it? Do I need to be known? Do I need attention? Do I need to hide behind the limelight and put myself, you know, In the corner and let other people take the light and not work so hard. Like there's this massive conflict that I've battled back and forth. Is it ethical to move forward with a big offer for, for my community to learn from me?

[00:17:39] Is it an obligation? Does it, is it better if I do it with a we than a me. And what I'm realizing as I process through all of this is that my job is to channel the light and the higher,

[00:18:00] I don't wanna even wanna use the word higher because I don't want to quantify anything, but. The bigger picture, the purpose, the journey that we all go through, I feel like it's an, it's an honor and a responsibility to usher it into the world. And that's the biggest aha that I've had over the last week.

[00:18:22] It's not about should I, what should I do? Is this right to do? Is this what the world needs is this what's gonna make me money. It. How can I actually help thousands or millions of people if I feel in the core, in that gut part of you that intuition that I don't know, wherever it is that the soul resides, it says there is something that you've been asked to do, and you have to do it, not for you, but for everybody.

[00:18:58] And I'm not saying that I'm more important than anyone else. I don't know how this can come across. Hopefully you're understanding and resonating with this message. But what I did find is about a year and a half ago, I read cover to cover in a matter of a day, a book called discover your Dharma by Sahara rose, which I've talked about many times in different communities that I've been a part of or online.

[00:19:27] Well, my Instagram or wherever, but I opened it back up today because I hadn't really reread it since then. And it was like it, I opened it up and it smacked me in the face. Literally, no figuratively. I don't wanna use the word literally, but literally it was changing me as I read it to, to see that. The words are so different than when I read them a year and a half ago, it was powerful to me then it was what I was looking for because I was just coming out of a pretty dark time.

[00:20:00] In fact, it was a, it was on the heels of 2020 and all the things I had done and all the decisions I was trying to make and all the relationships that were falling apart. Um, it was a great book to read at the time, but with a year and a half of unfolding, since then, I see it with different eyes and it feels even more powerful.

[00:20:25] And I just wanna finish up this episode of this podcast, which was supposed to be about 10 or 15 minutes. And now I've gone way over that because, you know, I don't know. I had a lot, I guess I needed to connect with you about, so I'm gonna read this again. It's discover your Dharma by Sahara rose. Your Dharma is to raise consciousness and so is and so is your moms, your besties, your partners. We are all here to elevate the vibration of this planet. We call home. However, the way each of us does it is going to be unique. We all bring different elements to the party. Some of us bring the dance moves others, the snacks, others, the decorations, others, the rituals, others, the stories, others, the magic tricks together.

[00:21:14] We create the most epic party called life. Your Dharma is the truest expression of who you are when you're living in alignment with your Dharma. There is no separation between the outer and inner you, your external reality reflects your internal world. Every aspect of your life is a conscious choice.

[00:21:34] You are tapped into an endless stream of creativity. Passion and inspiration, which is the cosmos running through you. You have goals and also remain open to the mystery of the journey, trusting that your Dharma will take you exactly where you need to be. You allow yourself to unfold into who you are becoming and celebrate each stage of your journey.

[00:21:58] Knowing it's preparing you for the next. You feel completely alive, awakened in your senses with an United flame burning in your heart. This is living your Dharma, living your purpose is the ultimate form of self love. When you say yes to answering your higher calling everything you've been seeking naturally.

[00:22:20] Manifests the fulfillment, happiness, abundance, clarity, confidence, worthiness, and peace. You've been yearning for effortlessly arise because you are living in harmony with your truth. There is no more striving. You simply are you full time. This is called embodying your Dharma, your soul's purpose. Your Dharma is your divine purpose on this planet, your soul's essence, the unique vibrations only you can carry out into the world to discover your Dharma is to realize the truth of who you are.

[00:22:59] You cannot know your truth and not shift your life to be in alignment with your Dharma. You can't unsee what the third I saw. Once you experience it, anything else will feel suffocating. And my friends, that is where I'm at. That's how I feel. I got emotional over that. Surprisingly, I got emotional because I just, I feel this so much so deeply into my core.

[00:23:27] I can't unsee what my third eye has seen. I can't unsee what I feel or undo what I feel, which is that Barma, that's your higher purpose. That's your calling? It's it's um, I don't know. It's very apparent to me. I still have so much growth to do. I have so much unfolding to do, but that doesn't mean I'm not ready to start serving you.

[00:23:53] So as I'm putting together some really beautiful offers and ways in which I can connect deeper with you and help you find your Dharma and get your message out into the world and build a beautiful aligned. Profitable business made up of all the different facets of who you are. So you can step into your own truth.

[00:24:21] Well, it's coming along, I'm telling you it's coming along this week. I have a several meetings with my brand new project manager. She's also my podcast manager, Ineke Camille, and you're going to get to know her. And I have a meeting with my little team for color crush. Who's working on helping me with the marketing and the messaging.

[00:24:50] And I have training in the evening for three days in a row. I get. To work with my Wavemaker group, which is the coaching program I joined. That's been hugely transformative to me as a person because of the relationships that I've built. And this week is our intensive week and we're going to be learning all kinds of things about building our business with, um, systems and strategies.

[00:25:16] And it's an exciting event for me because I've learned and grown so much over the last year by upleveling in this. I'm gonna take some time to hike again because it's only, uh, um, in a month from now, I'll be treking and I need to keep working towards having better health and more fitness. I'll probably spend a little time watching the new Lord of the ring series with my husband and trying to convince my nearly grown man children to get some chores done around the.

[00:25:53] Other than that, I'm sure I'm gonna squeeze in a little bit of time for art making and writing and rituals and reading and taking a little time to meditate and grow. And continue to unfold. And that's what I've been through in the last couple of weeks and what I'm looking forward to this week. And I will check in again with you a week from now.

[00:26:20] I'd love to hear from you. Go ahead and go to Kellee Wynne Studios at this point, it might change, but go ahead and go to Kelly, win studios and drop me a DM. I'd love to hear from you, what you thought feel free to share this episode. This is the in between series. I'm gonna continue to do this until it's time to take it to the next place that it's meant to go.

[00:26:43] I just needed this space in between, and if it's going well, we'll keep going with it. All right. In the meantime, I wish you, well, I love you so much, and I hope that you have a beautiful, amazing soul fulfilled week ahead of you. Bye. Talk to you later.

If you'd like to listen to or learn more about the podcast visit https://www.maderemarkable.com/blog for our show notes and links to the main players.