Amy Tangerine Shares How She Built Her Big Brand Business While Staying Aligned with Her Purpose

[00:00:00] Made Remarkable Intro: Welcome back, and thanks for tuning in to the Made Remarkable podcast, hosted by Kellee Wynne. Joining us is Amy Tangerine, a multi passionate maker, creative director, designer, author, mom, scrapbooker, and lover of lettering. Whether you're a seasoned creative or just starting out, Amy Tangerine's story will leave you inspired and motivated to craft a life you love.

[00:00:23] Tune in to discover how Amy has built a successful brand, collaborated with renowned brands, and tapped into her true self. Unlearning old ways and embracing healthier, more authentic ways of living, Amy has found the perfect harmony. Check out the show notes and transcripts for more information about Amy, exclusive promotional offers, and any special links mentioned during the episode.

[00:00:47] Kellee loves connecting with listeners, so don't be shy! Reach out on social media and together let's build a community that celebrates the remarkable. If you want to be notified every time a new episode hits the airwaves, just hit that subscribe button on your favorite podcast platform. 

[00:01:02] Thank you for joining us today and always remember that you are made remarkable, destined to achieve the unimaginable. Now, let's get to the good part. Introducing Kellee Wynne and Amy Tangerine. 

[00:01:14] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Well, hello. Hello. I'm Kellee Wynnee, artist, author, mentor, fiercely independent mother and wife, and the founder of a multiple six figure creative business. And I love my life, but I've been where you're at. I was slogging away at this art business thing for more than a decade. Once I finally connected with my true calling, unlock the magic of marketing and built a system that could scale, while I realize I can make an impact and make a substantial income, I'm finally running a business that I love and it makes all the.

[00:01:47] Difference in the world. My biggest dream is to help you do the same. Let this podcast be the catalyst to your biggest success. You already have it in you because you are made remarkable.

[00:02:01] So I'm really excited to get to know you, Amy. 

[00:02:04] Amy Tangerine: Awesome. Let's do this. 

[00:02:06] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Let's do this. So I'm just going to say, I. I think that I probably found you through Studio Calico because I was so obsessed and I spent so much money every single month on their kits.

[00:02:21] And then you rose to fame and I hit a wall where I was like, I love scrapbooking. I still love paper. Like it's my favorite material. But I realized I wanted to go towards the direction of creating something that wasn't using someone else's supplies. So I went back to my roots as an artist, but I see that you've like really evolved from there.

[00:02:42] So I don't know for those who are listening who don't know who Tangerine is. Why don't you, I would love to hear a little bit about your story, even though I've listened to you on podcasts before and I know a little bit about it. But. 

[00:02:56] Amy Tangerine: Well, yeah, so I am so delighted to talk to you, Kellee. I think that there is so much possibility in the direction that this is going to go, but I am Amy Tangerine.

[00:03:05] I have been doing my thing for over 20 years as the brand Amy Tangerine. It's evolved from t shirts. I actually started off fashion styling and then it grew into t shirts, hand embroidered t shirts that were sold in boutiques around the world. This was sort of before you bought everything online. Yeah, you really did enjoy the shopping experience.

[00:03:26] I don't know if you remember daily candy, lucky magazine. Yeah. All of those fabulous resources that we used to have. And I really enjoyed the creative process, but suddenly I realized I didn't want to work in the fashion industry. Anymore, because I felt like it was too constrictive and I found that I walked into a scrapbooking store, fell in love with the scrapbooking items.

[00:03:56] I fell in love with the people there. I took a workshop the next day from this woman named Emily Falconbridge. Who had dreadlocks, and she's from Australia, and I guess I should start off by saying I'm a creative director right now, and what I found is that through my transitions of finding different things that light me up, is where I have landed now in evolving as an artist, as a designer.

[00:04:26] And I think that I don't like the labels so much when I had my first business card made under Amy Tangerine, my title was Main Squeeze. And I really love embodying the idea that you can craft a life you love on your terms, no matter where you are, no matter how old you are, no matter any situation that you find yourself in, you are rooted in what you're authentically creating, right?

[00:04:54] And everybody's creative. And so that's what's so beautiful about this. So after I fell in love with scrapbooking, I just dove right in and I became obsessed. And like you, I found Studio Calico, I found American Crafts, I applied to design teams. I was just having a really wonderful time playing with paper and I still love it.

[00:05:16] Right. I still enjoy that. And I got the opportunity to design 20 collections with American crafts over 10 years, and it really taught me so much about the industry. And I feel so blessed to have traveled the world, teaching creative classes. And obviously we all know what shifted in 2020. So everything changed and I found myself.

[00:05:39] Actually, delightfully, and I'm sorry if this is a, this is a bit of a trigger warning, but, I had my 1st son at. I was, let's see, 34 years old and I found out I was pregnant and he is amazing, right? And it was 2013 that he was born and I wasn't expecting it. My partner and I were together for four years, but we weren't planning on having kids right then.

[00:06:08] And so we did everything backwards in our own way. And it was beautiful because the process unfolded so wonderfully better than I could have ever expected. And obviously, my son is my best creation right up until we tried to have another child and 4 years. In four years, I had four miscarriages. So like every year for four years, and then finally, when I completely surrendered to the idea that Jack might be the only child, it was 2020.

[00:06:40] I fully surrendered. And I remember waking up January 1st, I took a picture of myself in the mirror with a sports bra on. And I was like, my, I'm going to believe in my body and trust my body. And just do this for me, get into the best healthy shape that I can for my body, mind, spirit, all of it. And then sure enough, April 1st, April Fool's Day of 2020, I find out that I'm pregnant and it felt completely different.

[00:07:08] And I had to go to every single doctor's appointment on my own. And in November, she came three and a half weeks early, but we have our second child. 

[00:07:16] Kellee Wynne Conrad: So, yes, during the pandemic, congratulations, 2020 was. Oh, quite a wild year, but I empathize with you. I had one miscarriage, so I understand you can end up with a big gap between children because of that, but then you just have a different kind of relationship with your children.

[00:07:37] And I, it's wonderful that you surrendered. And then. Everything unfolds from there, right? 

[00:07:45] Amy Tangerine: It's true. I mean, just when you think you surrendered enough. I mean, that's when I had my 4th miscarriage, I couldn't find ways to surrender more, but then I did. And that's when it really shifted and.

[00:08:00] Because, as a business person, I'm sure you understand this, you focus so hard on something, but it doesn't give the results that you want. If you focus harder on something that's out of your control, 

[00:08:10] Kellee Wynne Conrad: right? Which I'm learning boy, the rollercoaster of, uh, there's so many parallels between, you know, our journey as women and mothers and partners, and then the journey of our business.

[00:08:24] Like there is a lot that I'm learning and sometimes business. Gives me a run for money as a parent, and then my kids surprise me and make it harder again. Mine are almost all grown though, so I'm like in a different phase now. I started scrapbooking in 98 when my son was born. I didn't even know what scrapbooking was.

[00:08:45] I had no idea what it was. I'm like, I just want to create a baby album. That's different. And next thing I knew, it's like this whole world opened to me and like everything changed after that. But, but I had been an artist before I became a mother and I love that reprieve that scrapbooking gave me and that time to, to really.

[00:09:05] Nurture the family aspect, but then something happened where it was time for me. And that was after my third one was born, which was 2008 where I was like, Oh my goodness, I need to come back to me. And Oh, has it been a rollercoaster running a business as well? How do you like, really, how can you manage like.

[00:09:27] Whenever I hit hard times, it is really hard to show up for my business. How have you, and all, you know, the miscarriages and the ups and downs, how do you keep showing up? 

[00:09:38] Amy Tangerine: I think that I had to really take a look at how much I was over functioning. And how that was ingrained in me, and I realized that I was a workaholic.

[00:09:49] I'm still a recovering workaholic, and that is through a lot of ancestral trauma unfolding right and trying to get deep and and to the root of it. And so. I don't know how I do it. I think what I experience as a Libra as an only child of Asian descent is I carry a lot of expectations on my shoulders that don't belong to me.

[00:10:16] And so in recognizing that. It's not so much about balance. It's really about harmony to me. That gave me a lot of freedom to say, you know what, this isn't the guilt that I want to carry going forward. And what's interesting is that I didn't actually feel guilt before I became a mom. I really did it. I just did not feel guilt.

[00:10:36] I don't know why I think that I tried to live my life in an authentic way, not to. You know, hurt anybody's feelings or anything like that. And truly, I didn't really feel guilty until my son was born. And I felt the pull for, my business and having all these creative ideas, but not having the energy or time to execute them.

[00:10:59] And then when I was spending You know, too much. I'm using air quotes here. Time with him. I felt like it was not accomplishing enough to move my business forward. So there was that pull the guilt. And now I really think it's a practice every day almost to really get grounded and also trust that I'm being guided in the right direction.

[00:11:23] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right. And my trigger word was their workaholic because in some ways it's new to me because I was able to write out that first decade or so of parenthood where I was still always trying to accomplish something, but it wasn't for the business end of things. And once you start a business, everything changes, right?

[00:11:47] Amy Tangerine: I believe because my business started when I was 21, and I was naive enough to not know much. Right. I think that my perspective on it is slightly different and slightly skewed, but. I also feel very blessed to be able to do what I love and to turn hobbies into my work. I mean, literally my hobby when I was a teenager in high school was shopping.

[00:12:14] I mean, I listed shopping as a hobby and that sounds so ridiculous, but honestly, my mom's hobby is shopping. It's actually browsing. So it's not so much spending the money. It's more browsing, right? Because I loved doing that, I found myself becoming a stylist sort of on accident as I was answering telephones for minimum wage at a modeling agency.

[00:12:39] A photographer came in. And said, Oh, you know, and we got to be friends a little bit and he noticed that I, I had a particular style that he admired maybe. Right. And he said, have you ever thought about doing fashion styling? And I was like, no, what is that? And he's like, well, you basically get to choose clothing and accessories for models for photo shoots.

[00:13:00] And I was like, that sounds amazing. I get to, that's a job. I know.

[00:13:08] Yeah. I feel very blessed to have been led throughout my life towards what I love doing and what I would associate as a dream job, right? There's a caveat there though, right? You're actually maybe giving something up. In return, and you don't even realize it right because as you're flowing through life as your business is growing as your life is unfolding as you're evolving, things are great.

[00:13:38] They are flowing and growing and you're feeling good, and you don't even realize, maybe that you're over functioning and workaholism is affecting you in other ways and. Prioritizing your well being your rest ethic. I never Kelly. I never knew that there was something called a rest ethic. Okay. My 

[00:13:59] Kellee Wynne Conrad: well, I didn't because you're just educating me now.

[00:14:01] Tell me about the rest ethic. 

[00:14:03] Amy Tangerine: Oh my gosh. I don't know too much about I only know about the burnout. 

[00:14:06] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Burnout method. 

[00:14:08] Amy Tangerine: Oh, I'm very good at that. 

[00:14:10] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I'm kind of in the middle of that right now because we're recording in the summer, but this won't be coming out until early fall. And I'm like, I really need a break.

[00:14:18] And then, of course, threads has to come out. And I'm like, ah, yeah, so let's go into that. Like the idea of designing your life with rest built into it. 

[00:14:31] Amy Tangerine: Yes, exactly. And rest is not a four letter word that you should fear. Yeah. I always thought and associated rust with laziness. And that is so interesting because you had a big word where you said accomplished, right?

[00:14:47] You needed to feel accomplished, or maybe you were striving for accomplishment. Well, I'm very good at having a strong work ethic, but my rest ethic is not nurtured because I did not see that. I didn't see it growing up so much. Now that I look back, I do know that my dad was a workaholic, though he also had his rest ethic was his hobby of tennis.

[00:15:18] Right. But you're still using your body and you're using it and pushing it because he needed to feel accomplished. So he needed to win the tennis match. He needed to practice and do all those things. And I ingrained this idea of, Hey, I love to do art. That's my way of. Spending my energy where time just flows well in resting or allowing yourself to schedule time for rest.

[00:15:47] Literally, when you do nothing. There's a book called how to do nothing. And I remember getting it. I think the beginning of last year and I was like, what's doing nothing. How do you even do that? Right? It's like the idea of doing nothing. 

[00:16:03] Kellee Wynne Conrad: It's foreign. It's completely foreign. The only way I know how to do nothing is to crash on the couch and binge watch an entire season of The Bear.

[00:16:10] Amy Tangerine: Well, there you go. I haven't started that. I did that to myself when I finally watched, oh gosh, what's that show called? Where they filmed it in Hawaii. 

[00:16:18] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Oh, White Lotus.

[00:16:25] I'm either like busy, busy, busy, or I finally crash and burn and binge something for like a couple days in a row. But yeah, I think the idea of doing nothing allows for the mind and the body to be still and not have, we have constant daily input, even sitting and crashing and watching the bear was totally stimulating to me.

[00:16:47] And there wasn't a time to just. Let go. I don't know if I could ever just like do nothing. I could walk through the forest or I could clean my studio. But how do you just do nothing? 

[00:16:58] Amy Tangerine: Yeah, I don't think I can really do that either. I'm not really wired that way personally. And my husband was so funny because he's like, look.

[00:17:05] I find that maybe my meditation practice is different than yours, right? Maybe as you're making the art, it's actually meditative to you. And I love insight timer because I can literally listen to a meditation and paint. I don't have to have my eyes closed for meditating, but maybe that's how you have your rest ethic.

[00:17:24] But here's what I found is that achievement and accomplishment are different than. Just being okay. So when my therapist told me years ago, this is over five years ago. She's like, okay, so it sounds like you do so much and that's great because you are a doer. But when's the last time you just let yourself be.

[00:17:48] And I was like, excuse me, what do you mean? There's all this to do. There's so many things that I need to check off my list. She's like, yeah, but you do realize that we are human beings, not human doings. Yeah. And I wanted to fight that. I really did. I was like, what do you mean, just be, how can I just be, then this wouldn't happen and this wouldn't happen, but guess what?

[00:18:09] It actually does happen. Things do get done when you allow yourself to be. And so in unlearning. Our ways of being, we are actually introduced to new ways of being that are probably healthier, better for our wellbeing, and also truer to our authentic nature, truer to who we are. And I have to tell you, I admire you so much because I get your newsletter and I got that email saying that you're just taking a little break and you have to sort of explain yourself.

[00:18:45] Because you thought other people were expecting things from you, perhaps, sorry, I'm putting this on you,

[00:18:51] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I mean, people were, they were, I had all kinds of comments of like, do we still get our stuff that we paid for? Of course you do, don't worry, right? But I had to explain it, 

[00:19:02] Amy Tangerine: but I like how you went.

[00:19:04] And thoroughly explained that right. But for me, when I feel like I'm overworked or burning out, I sort of retreat and I want to explain myself, but even putting in the energy to put those words together and to film a video or to write a newsletter. It makes me feel drained. And what was so interesting is I got on a call with my friend Tim Holtz, who you probably know.

[00:19:31] I know Tim. Yeah. 

[00:19:33] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I don't know him, but I know of him. 

[00:19:35] Amy Tangerine: Yeah. He's amazing. And so I remember feeling like I was in a point of transition and I was at a crossroads and my daughter was about, one and a half at the time. And so he told me That he thinks I have done an amazing job at taking two steps back or a few steps back, but a huge leap forward.

[00:20:01] And I was like, Oh my gosh, so you actually see that from the outside. But I felt like I needed to explain myself and, you know, protect this and over explain that, but really it was just so beautiful. He's like, no, I get it. It's beautiful. It's a wonderful thing to watch it evolve. And those were the words.

[00:20:21] I mean, he is. An amazing person, right? And definitely a mentor and somebody I'm so delighted to call a friend. But those were the words that I needed to hear. Sometimes we need to take a little, I don't know if you want to say if you want, don't want to call it a break. If you don't want to call it a sabbatical, it's okay.

[00:20:40] And it's okay to just chill for a little bit and still deliver. On the things and expectations of your clients and customers and your community, 

[00:20:49] Kellee Wynne Conrad: but it's well, the fortunate thing is, is I've hired help, so I'm not doing it all alone. So when I take a break, I can really take a break, but I really, I'm keen to take a break too.

[00:21:02] So I was just like, it's so hard because I'm not two weeks into this and I still don't know how to let go of the business and just. I mean, I have a lot of behind the scenes stuff to work. So when I say take a break, I really just wanted to take a break from the output all the time output. There's social media, there's newsletters, right?

[00:21:21] There's videos to make. There's blah, blah, blah. Always marketing always. And I felt like I had just gotten into this being a machine and a robot of hi, buy my stuff. Hi, buy my stuff. Hi. Do I, do you want to come get my thing for sale? And it's like, I'm a human, I'm not really meant to be always selling something, but now I'm a business as well.

[00:21:43] So the time off is really for us to reset and find another way to connect, which I find so ironic that, that Zuck said not on my watch. Here's a threads app for you. And though I am still going to actually take a break from that. I wanted to test it for, it's only been out a week, but I realized that.

[00:22:00] I actually have a chance. What I like about it is I have a chance to just be myself. I don't have to talk about business. I don't have to like I can, but it's not from a marketing standpoint right now. And I'm sure it'll change, but I think that's what I've kind of, and I keep. Those who've been following me a long time.

[00:22:17] know, I keep coming back and forth in this push and pull of, can I just show up as myself without always adding value? You know, like, do I always have to be a business person and market? And I'm sure my business would thrive if I did, but it's been really hard for me to detach after I got into the habit for so long.

[00:22:37] And I've, Been trying to transition my business since 2020, and it is now 2023. So for three years, I've been trying to transition my business and I have not been able to, because I just keep falling back into old habits. 

[00:22:53] Amy Tangerine: Right. Story of everybody's life. I know. I think, I mean, we're the ones holding us back from our highest dreams and desires.

[00:23:02] We're the ones who are in our way. 

[00:23:04] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right. It's that. And that's okay. Right. From Gay Hendricks, Big Leap. Have you ever read that book? Are you kidding me? It's so great. Of course. And I'm like, every time I'm like, Oh, I can do this thing. And then I'm like, Oh no, you can't just stay in your comfort zone where it's easiest.

[00:23:18] But that's where I burn out too. You know? 

[00:23:21] Amy Tangerine: Very interesting that you have this perception of yourself because I see you and I was only introduced to your work maybe a couple of years ago. Like, and I think what you're doing is. Amazing what you do and how much value you have and give to the world is a gift in you just showing up as you are.

[00:23:44] So you overthinking and feeling like you need to deliver and market and think about this and add more value. I have to tell you, I, I feel the same way, except I feel like you have established yourself in this new era of connecting with people online through community creatively and with vibrant color.

[00:24:09] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Oh, thank you so much. Yeah, but that's not really do 

[00:24:14] Amy Tangerine: I really want to commend you on doing that and whatever is floating around in your head, you know, honestly, what you put out and How much you give to the world is just really, truly remarkable. Okay. And it really is. And you second, guessing and thinking you need to be here.

[00:24:31] And you saying that, Oh, I've been transitioning my business for three years. That's not a long time. You have been in business. How many years? And you said. You know, three years is not a long time to transition and how you measure your own success is so much harsher than anybody else, right? Than anyone else.

[00:24:53] I mean, people should, well, I don't want to use the word should. I always feel grateful when people share their gifts in such a way and your offerings are like, Hey, this is what I'm doing. I'm putting together this amazing creative. What do you even call them? Summit, right? With all these artists, 

[00:25:14] Kellee Wynne Conrad: what's it called?

[00:25:14] Virtual art summit. 

[00:25:16] Amy Tangerine: Yes. Okay. So how great that you offer it for free. You offer for free for a long 

[00:25:22] Kellee Wynne Conrad: time, right? Anybody can, 

[00:25:24] Amy Tangerine: anybody can take that. For free, for a limited time. And when I say limited time, it's kind of a long time. It's like, it's like three weeks. Yeah, it was three weeks. It's an opportunity that people can carve out time, learn from these amazing artists that you've curated, and if they want the content for longer, they can purchase.

[00:25:45] That is such a gift. Right, it's such a gift and we were talking in the green room earlier about how I'm very bad at taking online classes. I put on myself is that I always I think of all these ideas and then because I've shifted to really being more of a solopreneur than I ever have. I realized that there is only so much bandwidth.

[00:26:08] I have only so much time and energy and I could look into hiring the right person, but somehow I want them to like manifest magically before me. Amy, I've been following you for so long and this is where my expertise is. And this is what I could do for you. That's maybe going to happen. It has happened in the past and I feel very grateful.

[00:26:30] I get literally an assistant who was with me for two and a half, three years became, you know, such a, an amazing sort of reverse mentor for me. Right. And we're talking about the pace of our lives. Pre pandemic and she was like, that was just not sustainable. Oh my gosh. You're right. You know, because we were over functioning, we were just sort of so much, it was incoming.

[00:26:59] And I had a hard time saying no to these amazing opportunities that presented themselves. So 

[00:27:06] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I still struggle with that as well, because they're as creatives, you know, you, you have a book called craft your life. Right. 

[00:27:13] Amy Tangerine: It's called craft a life you love, infusing creativity, fun, and intention into your everyday.

[00:27:19] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right. And, and I believe in that, but I don't live that. It's like part of the challenge is, is that I have too many ideas. Where you try to execute all the ideas, that's when burnout happens. And also you frustrate and confuse your customers, so then your business starts like, along the way. And it's like, I don't know what to do with myself now.

[00:27:43] And so then I'm at the point where it's like, it's not even fun to make art. Oh, 

[00:27:48] Amy Tangerine: see, I mean, it's coming back. 

[00:27:51] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Oh, man, for a long time. It was like I couldn't even for a whole year. I couldn't even come in here and make anything unless I had an actual lesson that I had committed to, right? I'm it's coming back now because I'm looking at art in a different way.

[00:28:05] I'm actually looking at art as my hobby. And, and also, which is the hardest thing is, is me to commit to not teaching anything new until at the very minimum 2025 good for you. I know it's really, really hard to make that commitment, but because I want to show up for this podcast, I want to show up for. My remarkable league, which is my coaching program and then I'm going to have like a, a different tiered program for those who are newer in the creative business.

[00:28:37] And I really want to be able to serve in that level and I've been trying to do it for a couple of years doing both sides. And what happens is, is that I get stunted on either way. And I can't really. Maximize the impact that I'm making for the people that I want to help. Right? And it's so I want to grow my income, but I also know that by serving more people in the, in the field that I feel called to do the income will happen.

[00:29:00] That's the part that's a no brainer, but I can't fully show up to help them. Have the kind of life that they want, unless I'm fully present for it. So that's where I'm like, okay, the art has to become the hobby again. So I can show up for made remarkable. And for the people who have been here and listening to me for that, that's one of the reasons why I have this reset time.

[00:29:22] It's like, I really have to stop and think, and like, maybe I need, I love insight timer, but I guess there was something in my head that thought I just have to do a proper meditation with it. Which I love when I have time for it, which. They say if you don't have 20 minutes and you need 40 minutes of meditation, but, but now I like you just sparked as I'm I'm like, why am I not just putting it on while I'm making art and the kind of art I'm making now is far more personally satisfied.

[00:29:55] And I've shown a few peeks of it, but it's a lot combining that decade or so, 12 years, I think I spent scrapbooking, the things that love that I loved and lit me up then combined with the painting and art techniques that I came back to for the next decade, somehow I'm fusing them together, but I need that time to develop it, right?

[00:30:16] Cause when we're always showing up online to share what our latest thing is that we discovered, it's almost like it's taking the magic out of it. So I've shown some hints of it, but I have like more, like I've only shown like 1 percent of the hundred percent that I've done over the last year because I'm really finally finding myself taking the time to enjoy it and not product out of my creativity.

[00:30:42] That's the problem. When you're an entrepreneur and a creative person, you could. Capitalize, monetize every single thing that you do, right? 

[00:30:51] Amy Tangerine: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, let me just commend you by saying that, first of all, your awareness of where you are and where you want to go right now is so illuminating, right?

[00:31:02] Not just for yourself, but for others. And it'll serve as such a power, a superpower for you in the direction that you want to help others. Elevate and take them to their next level saver was my word of the year for 2019. I do Ali Edwards. 

[00:31:22] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I love her thing. I've been doing it forever. I have my list of words to.

[00:31:27] Amy Tangerine: Oh, yeah, I want to say I want to see your list of words because what I realized is through looking at my list, which I'm looking at right now, I write it in my planner at the beginning of my planner every year is the words and it started off in 2010 as balance. Share, light, neat, thrive, choose, together, focus was 2017 where I was so focused on having another baby.

[00:31:55] I changed it midway to strength and then I went to shine and savor and savor was such a wonderful lesson because I felt as though I was moving from project to project to project, hitting goal markers, hitting success statuses in my mind. And then what I had the consistency that created the momentum, but I didn't have the time carved out to just savor it for a moment, pause and savor and say, gosh, this is a dream of mine for so long.

[00:32:30] And this is what's happening now. Can I just bask in the enjoyment for a second? Exactly. It's like athletes winning the championship title and then everybody's like, okay, what are you going to do next? It's like, right. 

[00:32:45] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Did you publish a book and then think, okay, what's next? Or did you sit and savor it? 

[00:32:49] Amy Tangerine: I savored it.

[00:32:50] No, I did because we'll see. I had a, in my book deal was a second book deal, like a possibility for a second one. Right. And I remember talking to my agent and she's amazing. And she literally said. When that time comes and you're ready, let's just look at it then. And guess what? The ship actually sailed.

[00:33:11] The ship sailed because I didn't want to do it. And some people might say that's a failure, right? Oh gosh, your second book, you didn't actually do it, even though it was part of your contract or whatever? Yeah, wow. Yeah, I said, I learned to say like, that's really not where I want to prioritize right now.

[00:33:28] And then sorry, I just wanted to go through these. Yeah, where is 

[00:33:31] Kellee Wynne Conrad: where was 2020? Because goodness gracious, that one gave us a big slap in the face. Anyway, no matter what we had planned, what was your word for 2020? Do you remember? 

[00:33:41] I think it was abundance. 

[00:33:44] Amy Tangerine: Well, you have an abundance of maybe online. Things that you had, right?

[00:33:51] Okay, so abundance 

[00:33:52] Kellee Wynne Conrad: of extra time in 2020, and I used it all up obsessing about the business. 

[00:33:59] Amy Tangerine: But you are setting the foundation for where you are now. 

[00:34:03] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Well, I actually burnt out in 2020. That's when I finally hit my wall. Because in 2020, I had a membership I had to close down and I was ready for something bigger, but then I just fell into the old loop of.

[00:34:14] Courses and whatnot, and I'm not regretting any of it because I've loved the path and the way I've been able to serve, but I knew then that I wanted to come to where I am now. And it just, you're right. 3 years isn't that long. It's, it's a process. So what was your word for 2020? 

[00:34:30] Amy Tangerine: Ironically, it was bright, and I had an online course that started in January of 2020 called Your Brightest Year Yet.

[00:34:39] And it's so funny because we actually needed that. I needed that word. I needed to embody bright in such a dark time. 2021 was present. Both the gift and being in the present. Flow was last year, and leap is this year. Leap. It's a huge one. It's a huge one, but I want to allow myself little leaps along the way.

[00:35:03] Not just like a huge leap, right? I want to appreciate the fact that I can leap just a little bit. And whatever that means to me, and whatever that looks like, is completely up to me. 

[00:35:16] Kellee Wynne Conrad: So in order to take a leap, do you let other things go? 

[00:35:20] Amy Tangerine: Yes, letting go is actually one of my priorities. And it's actually one of my values that I have to learn.

[00:35:27] I have to unlearn the thought that letting go is a bad thing. Like letting go of even when things are working okay. 

[00:35:36] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right? That's the part that's been the hardest for me. Letting go of things that are even working for the better thing that might come later or that you intend to create, right?

[00:35:46] You wanna create a certain path, you have to let go of the things that are even working. 

[00:35:51] Amy Tangerine: Yeah. Even the joy and success that bring you income, whatever, whatever it is for you, right? You really do have to let those old ways of being go, even if they've been serving you. 

[00:36:08] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Yeah, absolutely. So here's a little fun fact.

[00:36:12] I was in the military. I spent a whole two years in the military in between being an artist and then being stuck and saying, I don't know where I'm going with life. Sure. I'll just join the military. And that's when I met my husband, got pregnant and got out. But in those 2 years, I learned a lot of discipline and how.

[00:36:30] To become physically fit. And I always noticed that I could push and push and push, but if I took a whole week off of exercise, I'd come back stronger. 

[00:36:43] Amy Tangerine: Isn't that amazing? It's kind of crazy. It's amazing. 

[00:36:46] Kellee Wynne Conrad: And that just has come up in my mind now. I'm like, okay, wait. So. We fear that when we take a break, we are not gonna be as strong.

[00:36:53] We might not make as much money, we might not make the progress. People forget about us if we just stop showing up online and take a break. But the truth of the matter is, is it's not. It's a reset and you can come back stronger. But I'm just having this aha now while I'm talking to you, not I love that in advance.

[00:37:10] Amy Tangerine: And think about it, you may not have met your husband, right? If you didn't take that. 

[00:37:14] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Oh, for sure. And then without the kind of husband that I ended up with, which I'm West Coast, he's East Coast, I'm very much more like the, the, my father was a potter. So I come from like that kind of art. He was a potter and then a painter.

[00:37:31] So I come from the artsy kind of hippie free, easy life. And then you come to the conservative East Coast coming from a military background. But, with a big heart and a lot of loyalty, which I appreciate about him, but it's his ability to support and discipline and show what commitment is for me to continue that path.

[00:37:53] And I know that if I hadn't met a person like him, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing right now. Yeah. Well, anyhow, those are all the things that you can look at in hindsight because I'm coming up on 25 years married. So crazy. I know it's one of my biggest accomplishments really in all honesty, 

[00:38:14] Amy Tangerine: Truly. That's amazing. It really is. Yeah. It's such a testament. And I love that you recognize that too, right? Because my parents were actually married for 25 years before they divorced. And I think that that is still successful. I don't deem it as not successful for them. I actually think that, you know, at the time when I was a teenager, I didn't see it that way, but I kind of always knew, well, since I was like 10 years old, I knew that they weren't quite a good fit anymore.

[00:38:44] Right. And. And that's okay too. It's like, I have this thing called a harmony principle. I'd love to share because I would love to talk about it. So this is what I found to be really helpful as a Libra who has craved balance my whole life. And I had to shift my outlook and my mindset to realize that it's actually not so much about balance because when things are perfect, perfectly balanced in your life.

[00:39:13] It doesn't necessarily remain that way, right? You can feel that moment of like Zen and perfect balance and harmony. But in order to make it more lasting and sustainable, it has to shift more towards harmony. So I came up with this acronym for harmony, and I call it the Harmony Principle. H stands for happiness.

[00:39:34] Head in that direction. What makes you happy? What lights you up? A is for alignment. Align with your values. Right? It doesn't matter what you're thinking you should do, what other people think you should do. Align with your values. R is for redirect if necessary. It's okay to change course. And that was a big one for me because I always thought like you had to stick with something if you committed to it, you have to stick with it.

[00:40:04] All these people are expecting this from you. And that's why I bring up the, my parents divorce is because really, you know, I think my mom felt such guilt in being the first of her family to get a divorce being, you know, and my dad to write. He was like. Stuck in thinking, oh, gosh, I'm doing what's best.

[00:40:21] And then, you know, maybe things aren't being reciprocated or whatever it is, right? It's so much deeper, but it's okay to redirect and change course. It's okay. It really is. M is for money. Know your worth. Because how often do we 

[00:40:39] Kellee Wynne Conrad: That's the, that's the dirty word that no one in the creative world really wants to talk about, which we need to talk about.

[00:40:45] But yes, know your, know your worth. 

[00:40:48] Amy Tangerine: Know your worth. And it's okay if you want to, let's say, Money wise, right? Your value and you are bringing in the money that you set out to bring in. Let's say you've set a money goal and you've reached it. Does it actually fulfill you in the way you thought it would?

[00:41:06] Right? And do you need to not focus on money so much? Do you need to focus on money more? Whatever it means, it's very charged for a lot of people, especially in the creative industry. And so money is something that I. I feel as though you can change your mindset around, money equates safety to a lot of people.

[00:41:26] But then if you want more money, right, you have to think about why you desire that. You know, what does it bring you? Does it bring you more safety? Does it bring you more time to do your hobbies? Does it bring you more budget to spend on art supplies? What does that money represent to you? 

[00:41:41] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right? The impact you can make by providing income for other people.

[00:41:47] Amy Tangerine: Oh, yeah. How amazing is that? Right. If you bring the biggest money for your business. You are actually being of service so that you can employ better people to then serve the people in your community. Right? There's so many different ways of looking at it. So, O is original. There's only one you. So you have to stay true to everything that we just discussed.

[00:42:11] Right? In the word. And then N is really difficult. I think for a lot of People who want to be of service to people is no, no. When to say no, thank you. It's okay to say no so that you can have room for the bigger. Yes. And why can be yes, but I really think it's you. Okay. It stands for you. You have it inside of you to craft a life.

[00:42:40] You love on your terms. 

[00:42:43] Kellee Wynne Conrad: And that's made remarkable. 

[00:42:46] Amy Tangerine: See, I love that. I love it all ties into all these things that you've been building over the years and you've been strengthening those muscles so that you can be of service to other people in your highest and best, whatever that looks like. 

[00:43:00] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right. Yeah, I love that.

[00:43:03] And no balances. In a lot of times, if we think that we're going to ever find balance, so I do believe that there needs to be some sort of alignment is like the most important to me out of all of that, like, am I will the rest ethic is a brilliant way of explaining, like, am I. Being fair to my body and my spirit and my mind and my family with all the other things that I'm doing.

[00:43:26] So, yeah, I get that. We can't balance because as soon as we think we're going to balance, we're going to tip those scales and feel like everything's wrong. And that's when we break right? So, if we can find another way, harmony makes so much sense to me, and I love actually. The redirect is probably the most important one for me that I'm like keying on.

[00:43:46] I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right. We can. I'm just getting to the point where I can be comfortable to redirect the things that I've been doing, even if they've been working, and yeah, the expectations, like you said, there's a lot of expectation on you. Wow. It's a doozy. It's a doozy. Sorry, 

[00:44:06] Amy Tangerine: I didn't mean to Go so heavy, you know, 

[00:44:11] Kellee Wynne Conrad: during your summer reset.

[00:44:12] Yeah. No, I love it though. It's really like getting my mind turning. And also what I hope it's doing for everyone is giving, Giving everyone permission to rethink how they're doing, what they're doing. We only have this one time here, right? I mean, whatever you believe, we don't know anything for sure. We know we've got this till the day we die.

[00:44:37] So, and we were talking about the bear and there's always this like theme of every second counts. And it's not every second counts to get something done, but every second of your life counts. Like, everything counts, so being fully present for it is what's going to make all the difference in the world.

[00:44:55] And I have found more happiness and joy in my life as I've been more present, for sure. Yeah. So, I'm promising that I'm going to find my list of all of my previous words of the year so that I can add it to the show notes, but I love, love that you have that right there front and center.

[00:45:11] And I don't even remember what I picked for this year. I must've just been in such a, like. Days trying to figure out 2020 

[00:45:19] Amy Tangerine: guess what you can either go back and reference it or maybe just change it. You know, what are you feeling right now that you want to embody and hold true for the second half of the year?

[00:45:28] Because I think that shifting our perspective can actually bring us more presence, right? Yes. Into dropping in to really what matters most at this moment, right? Yeah. Oh, you can change that word. Whatever it is, 

[00:45:45] Kellee Wynne Conrad: we can redirect. 

[00:45:46] Amy Tangerine: You can redirect. You can change course. You have permission.

[00:45:50] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Thanks. I love it. So. I actually want to ask you some more questions about like you and your life and the business that you run. Like you started creating designs and stuff. I, I think it's so cool. Do you ever have a moment where you're like, I'd love to do clothing again? I mean, I noticed that you do have some like really cute designed t shirts all based off of our creativity, but like, where, where do you go?

[00:46:18] Like, I don't know. Are you in the middle of a big redirect?

[00:46:22] Amy Tangerine: I am, I feel like I'm always at a crossroads, you know, even when I feel like I've landed and I feel very true to my vision and where I want to go. I realized that I. And just like you a work in progress, right? Just like everybody else listening, we are works in progress, constantly evolving, constantly changing, maybe sometimes overthinking.

[00:46:45] But yes, I do have those pings of like, Oh, I do that. And I am very big into manifestation and vision boards. And what's interesting is that I'm doing this course on manifestation. And it's so funny because it's just like this online challenge. And she really doesn't believe in vision boards. And it's so interesting.

[00:47:05] Finding that perspective because it's different than mine, but I'm open to it. You know what I'm open to awareness. And I really believe that everybody has the ability to find what works for them. So when I have that ping of, Oh, I should really get back into t shirts. I will maybe say that, maybe say it out loud.

[00:47:23] And then be reminded of how I want to show up in that way, right now, it's with ease and flow. So if it doesn't bring ease and flow into my world, it doesn't have to be a part of it. Do I want to get back into t shirt production where we were hand stitching and hand embroidering and shipping? 10, 20, 30, 000 t shirts from my Santa Monica loft in a year.

[00:47:49] Uh, no, I do not want that stress. And I'm very confident in saying that with the years of doing and experiencing and working towards something, I'm able to now be more comfortable with saying, Good for her, not for me, right? That Amy Poehler quote of, Hey, that's great for them, not for me. And so, I actually do consult with brands still, and I've always consulted with brands for years.

[00:48:19] And It may not be something that's known to other people because it's not front facing. Right. Much. Right. And I've worked with clients. I scrapbook for clients. I've worked with clients in many creative different ways that I never even would have dreamed of. And I'd much rather consult and be compensated monetarily for them to take their creative dreams and succeed with them.

[00:48:44] If they want a dress line or a t shirt line, or maybe it's jewelry designer. And those are something that I. I don't really bring those to the forefront, but that's something that has been a part of my business for a long time because transforming your inner critic into your inner coach is something I find that anybody can use.

[00:49:05] Right. And so whatever challenge they're facing, because I've had experience in the fashion industry, what's so interesting is my friend's son is now who I held at four days old. He's now wanting an internship with some fashion brand. Like he loves sewing. He's in high school. And so he has this program with a school where on Thursdays for the for his next school year, he can take him for this dream of getting an internship with a fashion brand.

[00:49:36] All right. So I'm going to sort of mentor him. In a way that I would have wanted to be mentored and I have been so blessed to have experienced because we live in Los Angeles. He's got this great opportunity to visit these actual fashion houses, production places where they stitch embroider, where they make denim, where they produce all kinds of clothing, and I'm so excited to guide him through.

[00:50:05] And that's Not something that I'm going to be paid for, but it's going to fulfill me in so many more ways than having a client who, let's say I get paid money for, and they're like, okay, well, we really want to have this executed by this date, and this is our plan for, I'm just giving a vague example because I can't think of something right now, but let's say, for example, I did Dr.

[00:50:31] Phil's 60th birthday scrapbook at the Beverly Hills Hotel, and it was really fun. I worked with his wife, and we had this vision. She had a very strong vision for what she wanted it to look like. And he's obsessed with tennis. And so everybody calls him Phil. And he. You know, was very open to being creative with the scrapbook, but she had a vision of it looking a certain way, right?

[00:50:56] This mahogany leather, very upscale. And then you get these people taking silly photos in their tennis gear with tennis rackets and then the picture gets printed out and they're writing the most creative notes. And then I'm figuring out how, how to place it in this book to make it look. Just rewarding and expansive and something like they want to keep right there.

[00:51:19] Keep sake that they hold value in. And let me just tell you, they loved it. Everybody had fun at the party. It was insanely celebrity, you know, I'm sure I'm sure that was probably so. But that was an awesome, fun challenge that I could have never dreamt of. I could have never been like, Oh, I work with celebrity clients, but I didn't think that his 60th birthday party would just open my mind to so many other opportunities and other ways of being for myself, not even just for my business, just for myself.

[00:51:53] You know, I really. Appreciate the fact that I can take an idea and say, okay, do I want to go down the T shirt route again? Do I want to dabble in the fashion thing? And I can ask, right? I can openly ask the universe or whatever you believe in and you can journal about it. You can dive deeper into that and.

[00:52:13] You know what? The answer might not be yes. It may be maybe no, that's not the direction you want to go. And that gives you an awareness. You can accept it if you want, and then you can take action on it. Right. Or. Right. Let it go. 

[00:52:30] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Put it in the parking lot for a little while and think on it because I can come up with 10 new ideas every morning before coffee.

[00:52:37] Literally so many possibilities. And one of the things that I love to teach is I have a PDF that's called a hundred ways to make money as an artist without selling your art because like you who just took your creativity and of course you've got decades of experience now, but I would have never thought like in the 2000s that if I had stayed dedicated to scrapbooking that there would be a time where I'd be doing celebrity scrapbooking, right?

[00:53:04] Like, we don't really realize what potential if we, because we limit ourselves, right? And we don't think bigger, which is why I'm always an advocate for thinking outside of the box, dreaming wild dreams, going for like things that haven't even really been considered before. Maybe, I mean, sure, we, it's nice to test your idea and workshop it with other people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[00:53:30] But sometimes we don't know what the world needs until we show up doing it, right? 

[00:53:36] Amy Tangerine: Yeah. And show up. a little bit or show up fully, right? It's up to you how you want to show up in this world. But just by being you, Kellee, I have to say that you impart such, empowerment on people because even when you're, let's say making your marks in your free course and your color crush creative and everything that you're doing for that and everything you've done, right?

[00:54:00] You've done the foundation. For people to have permission and have the inherent belief that they can do these things, right? And it's so interesting because I took your grid course, but I didn't do it in grids, but I find myself sort of applying certain principles and things that you've said, or. Or, and I don't even think of it as like, Oh, Kellee told me to do this.

[00:54:23] I just think of it as a way of incorporating it into my lifestyle through learning and becoming and on this journey to being an artist or mixed media, right? Mixed media artist is not a title. I thought somebody who is super successful could have. I was like, someone can make a living being a mixed media artist.

[00:54:46] Yeah. That's amazing. Right? However long ago that I found that term, you know, decades ago, I was like, Oh my gosh, like Dina Wakely. She's a mixed media artist and she makes her living from doing this. 

[00:54:58] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right. Incredible. Yeah, and it's just through showing up and consistency and then exploring all the possibilities and avenues through it.

[00:55:08] And who would have ever thought when you first started scrapbooking that it would lead to designing products and writing books. Like I had no idea when I showed up online and just, and I Certainly loved it way back in the 2000s when it was every scrapbook forum possible, but then it turns into the blog, it turns into, okay, Facebook shows up and then you're like suddenly in whatever 2012, 2013, like full on Instagram and everything starts changing.

[00:55:38] It's just that consistency of showing up and testing your ideas and coming back. And I don't know. It's sticking true to yourself, and it's really easy to lose that along the way, but I know that the one thing that I've always been, if I go all the way back to childhood, is I've always been the cheerleader.

[00:55:56] I've always, I literally could not be a cheerleader, because I tried out, and they said, no way, you're not coordinated, but I could always be the one cheering other people on. I can always see the potential in somebody else and want to create a space or an event or something. That saw them through to their success.

[00:56:18] I love that. And you know that I had to reframe who I was as a kid as the bossy girl, because it was through the process of understanding my motivation that it changed everything. I wasn't bossy because I needed control. I was probably bossy because I was a head full of ideas and potential. Right? 

[00:56:41] Amy Tangerine: And they didn't even see that you wanted for somebody else.

[00:56:43] But I wanted for somebody else. 

[00:56:45] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Yeah. Yeah. I was the one who wanted to create the parade or the... Talent show or whatever so that everyone could participate probably because no one ever included me to participate, but oh It's okay now But that's knowing that those things make such an impact along the way and even into my adult young adulthood Oftentimes feeling left out and that's why something like the virtual art summit where I can ask the people Who don't always get picked to be in the summit?

[00:57:14] So it's been really amazing that journey for me. And in all, in all honesty, I said, this was the last year of hosting the virtual art summit, which was really hard to say, because I know what an impact it makes, but I can pass that torch to other people who are doing similar stuff. And I've literally been teaching the people in my.

[00:57:34] Program how to do what I've done and show up and create these kinds of events so that they I'm passing the torch to them so that that that then spreads to more people. And I have to just remember that's what I want for them. And it's okay to redirect, but yeah, I see I see it more now. That has always been a big part of who I am is creating space for other people to shine.

[00:57:59] So beautiful, so well, but I really appreciate so much like just finding out that you were in my system and you had signed up for my, my grid course. And I'm like, the Amy tangerine, but it's so cool because it goes all the way back to looking up to April, who ran studio Calico, and now she has a bigger umbrella company and just how that all has taken so many of us from.

[00:58:27] That creative space to possibility, and I've seen so many take that journey along the way. Kaylee Gray, I don't know if you know of her from Get Messy art journal. 

[00:58:35] Amy Tangerine: I love Get Messy. 

[00:58:36] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I know, right. And she started in that same kind of line and that path as well. And so it's kind of cool because we all grew to a space and then found each other again.

[00:58:47] Right. And we realized that this world is actually so small. And if we continue on this path of just making space for each other. Yeah. Like, what a huge gift, and the experience you've had for the last couple of decades that you can then pass on. I love doing the same thing as you. If somebody's I love teenagers, by the way,

[00:59:07] I don't know why I mean, I'm getting through my 3rd teenager. Now, my youngest is 15 and I actually love teenagers because they have that moment teenagers in early 20s where. Everything is possible. And I really think differently about what the potential is for them versus how I felt at that age.

[00:59:23] So the fact that you're mentoring teenagers who say, I have this dream. And like, my son came to me today. He just finished his associates degrees, 20 years old. And I'm so proud of him, but he's like, I know he's picking things that are safe. I'm like, take the risk. You have a soft land, right? Take the risk.

[00:59:46] Everyone who's listening now, even when you're. knocking on 50 like I am. Take that risk. It's worth it. 

[00:59:54] Amy Tangerine: It's so beautiful that you're giving him that permission and you're encouraging him and enriching him at a time where it's really scary to take a risk, right? It's really scary in your twenties, but gosh, your twenties should be.

[01:00:09] A lot about risk and taking chances and taking those bigger leaps because if you're like me and you, you know, we can have a partner in your 30s and you start having a family of your own, then your risk taking has to be a little bit curved, you know, it's just, it's just a little different, not saying it's in a bad way, but there are certainly things I'm so grateful for doing in my early twenties that I don't know that I would be able to do those now, you know, during midlife.

[01:00:40] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Right, exactly. So take that chance. I have some young entrepreneurs that I work with and I just absolutely love that phase. It's like. Just go for it, you know, so 

[01:00:52] Amy Tangerine: what I love about working with younger people too, and it sort of serves as like a reverse mentorship for me, because I remember being that age and because of my parents and upbringing.

[01:01:05] I was taught that I could do anything that I put my mind and heart to. I mean, that was such a gift that I didn't realize would have such an impact on the direction and the course of my life because I was given so many chances to say. Hey, yeah, you can do this and you can make it up as you go, right?

[01:01:26] That gave me so much permission to play, to wander towards wonderful, to really be curious and to say, you know what? Just because it's been done this way and it's been successful for other people doesn't mean I have to follow that path. I can carve my own path. And it's so interesting because. Until your son moves, there isn't a path, you know, until he decides to take that step.

[01:01:52] Right. It's like full of possibilities, right? He needs to move in the direction of his dreams and what's aligned and true for him. Even if he doesn't know, don't you find it so interesting when people are like, well, I don't know what I want. When my husband said to me a few years ago, he was like, I don't really know what makes me like that happy.

[01:02:13] And he used the example of me and scrapbooking, for example, right? He was like, you are just so happy doing this crafting thing. I don't know what makes me that happy. And I was like, babe, you should find out the time to find out the time to work, 

[01:02:29] Kellee Wynne Conrad: especially before you hit the midlife crisis and everything's gone.

[01:02:35] Amy Tangerine: The fact that you're supporting your children and giving them that lens to look through is just so bright and amazing. And who knows what they're going to create, right? They're going to have jobs that we don't even know exist. 

[01:02:47] Kellee Wynne Conrad: And that's what I believe for this generation. Gen Z is like. Don't, don't hate on them.

[01:02:53] They've been handed the biggest heaping pile of steaming, you know what, and they're still going to dig their way through it and figure out how to make it work and do amazing things. And you know what? If you're 20 and you go in one direction and you don't like it, you can go in another, look at how many different paths you and I have been on.

[01:03:09] Amy Tangerine: And the beautiful thing is that I don't really focus on this, but somebody is like you have so many, you have multiple revenue streams, like so many of them. And I was like, Oh yeah, I do. But it's not something that I've really honed in. It's just something that I've cultivated as a way of being, because it's almost like I'm a commitment folk, right?

[01:03:31] I don't want to commit to one thing. There you go. That's me right there. If that one thing I burn out on it, or I. I feel as though I don't want to do it anymore. The other day, this is the first time in a long time. I've been doing this type of memory planning in my planner. It's very colorful and you can look at my YouTube videos when I've been doing this.

[01:03:52] I think four or five years now, and the other day I just had this realization. I was like, what if I don't want to do this anymore? What if it doesn't bring me joy for my 10 to 15 minutes a day? And I had this sort of sinking feeling in my chest and I sort of listened to it. And I was like, you know what?

[01:04:13] This is actually an opportunity to keep it fresh. I always encourage other people to try new things and keep it fresh and find what works for them. Why can't I do this now for myself? My studio is in disarray. There's a huge hole in the ceiling from the rains. And we're finally going to renovate. And I had to really get down into the depths of my soul to decide if I was deserving of a dream studio and guess what I concluded.

[01:04:48] Okay. Even though I am deserving. Yeah. I don't have to have this dream studio right now. Everything that it would take all the financial sacrifice, all of the things that I would want for a dream studio. It's not fitting into the space. I'm trying to like make the space work and I've done it for nine years and it's wonderful that I've done that.

[01:05:12] Right. Okay. But. It's okay to say, Hey, this is a studio where I can go feel comfortable. It doesn't have to have these massive windows, this huge ceiling, this, you know, whatever. I really want to take this experience now and show people that you can create with what you have. Whatever you feel like making at the time of making without this expectation to turn it into something that's profitable or to turn it into a course or to have to feel the need to teach something.

[01:05:44] I'm really into thick acrylic painting right now. And all I get is questions of like, what are you using? What supplies are you using? Good enough. 

[01:05:51] Kellee Wynne Conrad: It's so hard once you've established yourself as a business and you know, you can make money to not just turn around. And turn it into a thing. 

[01:06:01] Amy Tangerine: But then I don't enjoy it anymore, right?

[01:06:03] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I know, which is why I told you I'm doing this thing! And I'm making myself do it just for me. Although I've already made stencils from this project, but that's just the first little glimpse of where I'm going with it. But, like, it's hard because even, like, so we, what happens if The journal that you've been teaching everybody and going through for the last 4 years is no longer your thing and it's so hard to let go because there's an expectation and I was painting acrylic painting and then became more back into mixed media.

[01:06:35] You know, like I said, it's full circle, bringing the scrapbook side back into me. I even went and bought like, here's a little hint as to where I'm going. People will see glimpses of it, but I'm not going to share too much because again, I love the whole thing of working with photos when we were scrapbooking, but I don't want to use my photos.

[01:06:52] So I went and bought like probably 200 worth of vintage photos off of Etsy. And I like, just have these ideas of like taking all those different parts of me, the painting part of me, the, the imagery part of me, the paper, the layers, the everything, like, how is it going to show up? I don't know, but it's so hard because in my mind, I'm like, you're not a real artist if you're not painting on big canvases.

[01:07:17] So what do we do when that, that expectation, just like, will people even like it? Who even cares? Just go forward with it. Because I really appreciate my father because. Like I said, he's an artist and he's like, you're pioneering something, Kelly, just keep going. Isn't that amazing? It was like, okay, I'm a pioneer right now.

[01:07:37] I don't have to know how it's all going to turn out. I'm just going to be a pioneer through this and like, figure out how I want to do it for the 1st time in like, a decade since I started back was 20 actually, it was like 2011 that I started back into art. So, I don't know. It's, it's such a journey and yeah, as, as creatives, we're always going to have new ideas.

[01:08:00] We'll probably always have multiple streams. You know, I'm not shutting down Color Crush Creative. There's still art courses there. There may be art courses in the future. I just know that there's a certain path that I'm called to at this moment. And who knows how it'll all turn out, right? 

[01:08:15] Amy Tangerine: It'll turn out remarkable is how it will turn out.

[01:08:18] But you're not at the end, right? You're at the beginning. It's a process, and I enjoy the process so much. You do too, right? The creative process is what I love so much. So when I'm not in process, I mean, we are always a work in progress, and we have to embody the idea that it's okay to Evolve and it's okay to try some new things and it's okay to give ourselves permission to play coming full circle.

[01:08:47] I do want to share something from my book that my dad. I mean, don't we love our dad's right? Amazing wisdom that they impart on us when I first moved to Los Angeles. I was 24 years old and I had can't Oh my gosh, you know what I think I did just turn 25. That's right. And I moved here for a job. It was a job that was sort of like a dream.

[01:09:14] I was going to be able to help other designers like myself and grow their t shirt business. Okay. I was going to be able to say, Hey, you do this. Here are some amazing blank t shirts that are super soft. They're they're dives. There's a huge color range and you can use this. As an alternative to this other brand.

[01:09:39] Okay. So I was going to head up the West coast sales and that was my job. And a week after they, the company relocated me and it was agreed upon that I would keep Amy tangerine on the side. That was totally fine with them. And I had a huge contract that I signed. I packed up my entire condo moved across country.

[01:10:00] I had three suitcases a week later, I was let go that person who had hired me for this. Was also a friend, but he said, you know what? He had a change of heart. He was burning everything in his life down. So he decided that he was breaking up with his girlfriend that weekend, and he was giving me an ultimatum saying You either do Amy Tangerine.

[01:10:25] Or you come with me full time, full force, and you ditch Amy Tengering for a while. And I was so confused. I was prying my eyes out. I had literally just bought a VW Beetle convertible, paid cash for it because I saved all this money, and it was my dream to have a convertible, live in Southern California.

[01:10:44] And I called my dad, and he literally said, you're lost in the right place. And that secured the rest of my life really, like even when you're feeling lost or you're feeling like you don't know the direction that you want to go in, you're lost in the right place. And with that reassurance, that's all I needed.

[01:11:08] Kellee Wynne Conrad: That is like chills. That is so good. What a great story. Alright, I want to ask two more things and then obviously I'm letting this podcast go a little bit longer because it's been such a great conversation. First, well, people will want to connect with you. That's easy. Amy Tangerine on all platforms, I'm assuming.

[01:11:27] Yes. And you have more than one book. 

[01:11:30] Amy Tangerine: Right. I do. Yes. So the opportunity for a second book with a traditional publisher came to be during the pandemic and it happened to be a publisher out of the UK called DK and they had the idea for this kid's book and it's called Making Memories and they wanted me to author it.

[01:11:49] So they actually had the basis for the idea, but I had to do the writing. They even had an artist to do the art, which I was so confused about. And so I asked my agent and she was like, yeah, absolutely. It's like less than half the work. Then you're just writing the material. And I was like, Oh, should I do this?

[01:12:07] And it's all about practicing mindfulness, learning to journal and scrapbook and finding calm every day targeted towards kids ages eight and up. And I. I loved every moment of writing this book, and I love that it's a valuable resource for kids all across the world, because it's something that I try to instill in my own life, and I'm still learning, right?

[01:12:32] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Find calm every day. We always teach and write about the things that we need to learn about the most. 

[01:12:38] Amy Tangerine: Yes, yes. So it's called Making Memories, and it, yeah, it came out last year. 

[01:12:43] Kellee Wynne Conrad: I love it because that's a throwback to an old scrapbooking company. 

[01:12:47] Amy Tangerine: Exactly. I know. And they had the name of the title. I didn't even come up with it.

[01:12:51] Kellee Wynne Conrad: That's so cool. So where do you see yourself? I mean, if you want to give us a little glimpse, where do you see yourself going with Amy Tangerine in the future? 

[01:13:01] Amy Tangerine: Gosh, I really admire the direction that you're going in. And I really want to be intentional about being of service to others, other people who want to take their business to the next level.

[01:13:13] I've had amazing collaborations with big brands, with small brands. I've been able to craft a life I love so much, but I really want to help guide other people. And I don't know what that looks like. I don't know if it's in person retreats. I don't know if it's mentorship programs. I'm not sure if it's sort of what you're doing, you know, where.

[01:13:32] You can have these clients work with you. I don't know if it's a cohort. I did a cohort last year that was amazing. And there were just a dozen people in it. That's what I wanted. And it was really more attention to getting deeper with fewer people. So I think that's where I'm going. I'm not really sure I'm still going to be making stuff and hopefully still posting on my YouTube channel.

[01:13:59] You know, for a while there, I was posting a video a week and that felt really good. But it has to be sustainable, you know, especially if it's not bringing in income, where is my energy flowing and what am I focusing on? 

[01:14:11] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Yeah, for sure. And then the last question I ask everyone is what is your big audacious dream?

[01:14:19] Amy Tangerine: My big audacious dream is that everybody can feel happiness, joy, confidence through creativity. 

[01:14:34] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Aw, it's a generous dream. 

[01:14:39] Amy Tangerine: In whatever, in whatever unique way that means for them. Yeah. 

[01:14:44] Kellee Wynne Conrad: Thank you so much. Oh my goodness. Best conversation ever, Amy. 

[01:14:50] Amy Tangerine: Thank you, Kelly. This was such a pleasure. 


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